Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

This morning I saw that Mick Dee is going move from Melbourne to Hong Kong, which means we’re going to be able to see Mick Dee against McDonald every Wednesday and Sunday.

I’ll be honest, that joke could’ve been delivered slightly better.

Anyway, on we trudge through the Autumn, and this week there’s another Group 1 double header with the Goodwood Handicap to finish off the Adelaide Group 1 Carnival at Morphetville, and the WFA Doomben Cup in Brisbane, featuring Zaaki.

My favourite fact about the Doomben Cup comes from 1998, when Might And Power won the race over 2020 metres with a time of 2.00.530.

25 years on, that time is STILL FASTER than the current 2000m record at Doomben, which is 2.00.960, set by Real Love in the Group 3 JRA Cup.

That’s how good Mighty was.

Other than that it’s fairly mild, with the only other races of note being the Listed Lord Mayor’s Cup at Rosehill, and over in Belmont, which is near Burswood, there’s the Final of the Provincial Series, which was decided by Qualifying races in places like Northam, Albany, Geraldton, Kalgoorlie, York and Narrogin.

Riveting.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I didn’t see any of his results last week, but nobody said anything so that must obviously mean he went like a busted arse, which is very on point for Craig, so let’s cut the bullcrap, get back to finding winners and listen to The King in the process!

P(r)ick No.1: Sigh (No.9, Barrier 11) in Race 3 at Flemington (MR3), 1pm AEST

1100m BM70 Handicap Stableline Sprint

Trainer: Peter Moody, Jockey: Laura Lafferty (a3), 60kg

Hello hello hello it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, back for another week after I forgot what happened last week…

Apparently it well, because Crazy Colin sent me a message telling me to **** off!

He never sends me that, so it can only mean good news!

Anyway, we’re keeping our eyes on the road on this Group 1 Saturday, doing what we usually do and avoiding Group 1 races altogether, and looking at the card at Headquarters this Saturday, I’m starting off early in the piece with Race 3, because Peter Moody is going to have us all exhaling in disappointment when Sigh steps up down the straight for her 1st Up run, having not been sighted since New Year’s Day, when she was bested by a split lip in a duel with Jungle Jim!

Say, I know a bloke called Jungle Jim in Bairnsdale… he’s a bit of a wild animal!

P(r)ick No.2: Excelida (No.14, Barrier 15) E/W in Race 8 at Doomben (BR8), 3:57pm AEST

1350m Group 3 Ladbrokes BRC Sprint

Trainers: Ben & JD Hayes, Jockey: Tim Clark, 55kg

On to the next pick from Doomed-ben, the place where you’re up Shit Creek the moment you plan on betting, and I’ve gone to the Doomben Sprint, the race with the golden ticket into the Stradbroke Handicap next month, and this golden ticket won’t be found in a Wonka bar!

So I’ve decided to go a little bit left field and go for the value visitor from Victoria in Excelida, who I picked last Spring in what turned out to be a left field win at Flemington, and now for some reason I’m picking her despite the fact we’re several thousand miles north, and she’s drawn the bloody carpark!

Why?

BECAUSE I’M A LUNATIC!

P(r)ick No.3: Way To Go Paula (No.9, Barrier 6) E/W in Race 9 at Morphetville (AR9), 4:25pm ACST

1200m BM64 Grand Syndicates Handicap

Trainer: Phillip Stokes, Jockey: Craig Williams, 58.5kg

The get-out stakes in Adelaide, and how appropriate that it’s a Benchmark 64, which is the grade in which I live my life…

Anyway, I’ve gone for a horse who was probably named after Paula Abdul, Way To Go Paula!

No.1 on the ARIA Charts in April of 1990… can’t go wrong!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!