Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

So friends, after sitting out a week for political reasons, here we are the first weekend of February, the Chipping Norton Stakes has been renamed in honour of Verry Elleegant, and it appears the juveniles are starting to warm up in pursuit of the Blue Diamond, the Golden Slipper, and various other boring races that will have no meaning after April arrives.

Just on that renaming of the Chipping Norton – That’s yet another Group 1 in this country that hasn’t been named after Phar Lap, who only has a shithouse 3-year-old Group 2 at Rosehill in March, despite being the most famous thoroughbred in Australian history.

Heck, Tie The Knot won the Chipping Norton 4 bloody times in a row and still can’t get a gong anywhere.

Must be because Phar Lap’s a Kiwi, and he’s actually got a Group 1 in New Zealand named in his honour.

Moving on, the only races of note this weekend are the Group 3 Bellmaine Stakes at Caulfield, a couple of Group 3s at Rosehill, among them the Canonbury Stakes for 2YO Colts & Geldings, the Widden Stakes for the 2YO Fillies, and the Southern Cross Stakes, another one of Ken Callander’s least favourite races.

All just warming up for the return of Group 1 racing next weekend.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and out of nowhere on Friday afternoon, I was informed by our raging lunatic that he wouldn’t be giving out any tips on January 26, as he doesn’t believe in the existence of Australia Day….

I then had to inform Crazy Craig that Australia day doesn’t work like that and he can’t deny it like people deny the existence of Santa Claus, but he was insistent that there would be no tips and that I could go and get ‘farked’, so we went with it, but now he’s back, and he’s got his GOOD LUCK CHARM.

The Omen P(r)ick: Sabalenka (No.12, Barrier 1) E/W in Race 6 at Eagle Farm (BR6), 3:12pm AEST

1200m BM68 Handicap

Trainer: Brian Smith, Jockey: Marnu Potgieter (a3), 58kg

Hello hello hello folks it’s Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and I am back after joining in the solidarity of doing jack shit on January 26…

If you ask me, should not be giving out presents on Australia Day, because it commercialises the spirit of the day, and it offends the people that came before us!

They didn’t get presents in 1788!

Anyway, I’ve had a flick through the form after enduring a month’s worth of tennis in 12 months, and how appropriate that we get a horse named SABALENKA in the fields for Saturday…

After the events of the Australian Open women’s singles, this has to be an OMEN BET, because as we saw last weekend, Sabalenka can win at Melbourne Park…

But can she win at Eagle Farm?

P(r)ick No.2: Wallenda (No.12, Barrier 5) in Race 10 at Rosehill (SR10), 5:55pm AEDT

1200m 3&4YO BM72 Handicap

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Jason Collett, 54kg

Wallenda…

Wasn’t that an Austin Powers film?

Wallenda!

He’s the man, the man with the Midas touch…

P(r)ick No.3: Beats of War (No.6, Barrier 4) in Race 10 at Ascot (PR10), 4:58pm AWST

2200m 63+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Darren McAuliffe, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 57.5kg

Beats of War…

You know what song was a beat of the band War?

Why Can’t We Be Friends!

Ah, what a great irony – A song named Why Can’t We Be Friends…

Was recorded by a band named War.

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!