Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright folks, the best time of the year for racing continues as the Melbourne Spring Carnival rolls on to Caulfield Guineas Day, always one of the great days of October with the 3 Group 1 races (The Might and Power, the Guineas and the Toorak Handicap) to start the Caulfield Cup Carnival, which used to be four until the Thousand Guineas was moved back to its old Wednesday slot, then was pushed all the way back to mid-November.

Of course, this year’s Caulfield Guineas marks 25 years since one of the greatest editions of the race in living memory – Testa Rossa vs Redoute’s Choice, complete with Greg Miles encapsulating the finish with a beauty of a call…

“Redoute’s digs, HE LUNGES AND WINS!”

The race that sealed Redoute’s Choice on his path to being one of the great sires of Australian racing, all courtesy of ‘The Pumper’ Jim Cassidy.

Other than that, Rosehill hosts the Roman Consul Stakes and the Hill Stakes, with just a week to go until The Everest, which is now a Group 1 for the first time in its history, because if there’s one thing Australian racing needs, it’s more needless Group 1 races.

Could you imagine Australian racing without Group 1 races?

Other feature events include Opening Day at Ascot, which is in Belmont, the Murray Bridge Gold Cup in South Australia, the Queensland Cup at Eagle Farm, and the country cups this weekend include Manangatang in Victoria, and I once thought Manangatang sang This Is Australia, Hamilton in Victoria, and the Leonora Cup, run in the Goldfields of WA, and a fun fact about Leonora is that every year over the first weekend of June, Leonora hosts the fabled Golden Gift, which is the richest mile running race in Australia.

People think there’s deadset nothing in Central WA, but there’s a shitload of cash buried in the ground.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and what a horror story it was last Saturday, as he produced 2 picks for the Group 1s last week… and they both ran 2nd by a combined margin of half a length.

Women seem wicked, when you’re unwanted, streets are uneven when you’re down.

P(r)ick No.1: Bear on the Loose (No.6, Barrier 6) in Race 3 at Rosehill (SR3), 1:45pm AEDT

2000m BM88 Vale John Nicholson Handicap

Trainers: Gai Waterhouse & Adrian Bott, Jockey: Nash Rawiller, 58kg

Hello hello folks, it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, still dealing with that heartbreak of losing 2 driving finishes last bloody week…

A matter of centimeters on the other side and I’d look like slightly less of a lunatic!

Now, looking ahead to the frivolity on Saturday, and we best start off at Rosehill, and I’m a bit worried that the meeting tomorrow may not go ahead, and for that matter I hope the authorities have been alerted…

Because there’s a BEAR ON THE LOOSE IN WESTERN SYDNEY!

Craig Picks Craig, Ridden By Craig, Part 437: Craig (No.9, Barrier 12) E/W in the Toorak Handicap at Caulfield (MR10), 5:45pm AEDT

1600m Group 1 Toorak Handicap

Trainers: Trent Busuttin & Natalie Young, Jockey: Craig Williams, 53.5kg

After seeing the fields for this week, you may have been wondering if yours truly was going to pick Craig again after he wet the bed on Grand Final Day, although not as spectacularly as the Sydney Swans…

The better question is, why would I NOT pick Craig again, I’m getting more mileage than a Toyota Hilux out of this joke!

Fancy that – Craig riding Craig for Crazy Craig.

What a time to be alive.

P(r)ick No.3: Golden Kathleen (No.14, Barrier 1) E/W in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:58pm AWST (7:58)

1000m 3YO SWP Max Simmonds Stakes

Trainer: Russell Stewart, Jockey: Shaun McGruddy, 54kg

And to finish off this week with a tribute to our third pick, ladies and gentlemen, from the all-time great album Sounds of Silence, here’s Simon and Garfunkel!

Other Crazy Group 1 Picks

Well, I suppose you can’t call Mr Brightside winning the Might and Power and Broadsiding winning the Guineas as being CRAZY… but you’d be Crazy to take those short odds in a Group 1!

Enjoy your SATURDAY folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!