Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, as the 12 Days of Christmas begin, we’ll get to see some decent races this Saturday, headlined by the Group 2 Ingham at Randwick, named after the fabled chicken kings Bob and Jack Ingham, with the race itself the former Villiers Stakes, plus the Christmas Cup, the Inglis Nursery and the Razor Sharp Handicap…

The Caulfield Heath track makes an appearance, to the dismay of everybody, hosting the Magic Millions races in preparation for the great trek north to the Gold Coast in January

Eagle Farm hosts the Grand Prix Stakes, which is ironic because Brisbane won’t be hosting a Grand Prix anytime soon

And at Ascot we see the second running of the renamed Gold Rush (The former AJ Scahill Stakes), and the inaugural running last year was an all-time classic yarn, as it got moved to the last race on the card to mark Damien Oliver’s last ride as a jockey, with the race being named the Damien Oliver Gold Rush, and wouldn’t you bloody well know it, he pretty much carried Munhamek over the line to send the crowd into delirium, finishing with 3 winners from his last 3 career rides.

It does make me think, if we’ve got a race called the Gold Rush in WA, surely it’d be in Kalgoorlie.

Also in Perth this week, we had the devastating news that William Pike injured himself in an e-scooter accident and will be out until well beyond the Perth Cup.

What a shame… you’d think if Pikey had been injured in an accident, it would’ve been a severe back injury from carrying all that money that desperate punters put on him before the last at Ascot every week.

Anyway, never mind the bollocks, here’s Crazy Craig:

P(r)ick No.1: Busting (No.10, Barrier 9) in Race 5 at Eagle Farm (BR5), 2:37pm AEST

1200m Class 6 Plate

Trainer: Tony Gollan, Jockey: Angela Jones, 55.5kg

Hello hello folks this is Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and I’ve been so deep in charitable altruistic purposes that I’ve barely watched a race this week!

Well, that’s no different to usual, I suppose!

Anyway, this week I’m going to take an old-fashioned blind throw at the stumps and go up to Eagle Farm on the same day as the Gabba Test match, and what a great choice we’ve got in Race 5 as the speed demon Hell will most likely go to the front on a hellacious winning run…

On another note, good to see a horse named Hell running in Queensland, because it bloody well is HELL ON EARTH…

And coming from behind to mow him down, we’ll be seeing the horse who desperately needs to visit the toilet, BUSTING!

What a great sight, he’ll be absolutely flying home trying to find a safe place to take a leak, so much so he’ll have no idea where the winning post is.

P(r)ick No.2: Sea King (No.3, Barrier 3) in Race 7 at Randwick (SR7), 4pm AEDT

2400m Listed Max Brenner Christmas Cup

Trainer: Matthew Dunn, Jockey: Nash Rawiller, 59kg

The other jockeys and trainers when they see Sea King coming up the straight:

P(r)ick No.3: Magnificent Andy (No.8, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 8 At Ascot (PR8), 4:57pm AWST (7:57)

1400m Group 3 WFA Gold Rush

Trainer: Stephen Miller, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 59kg

Apparently we need to try a different Andy, after my last 2 attempts with Magnificent Andy Griffith didn’t quite work…

So instead, here’s David Bowie singing about Andy Warhol from the classic album Hunky Dory!

Magnificent Andy looks a scream
Hang him on my wall
Magnificent Andy, Silver Screen
Can’t tell them apart at all

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!