Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

So after last week’s carnage at Randwick, this weekend sees the winding down of the Sydney Autumn Carnival, with the running of the Champagne Stakes to finish off the 2YO Triple Crown, and the All-Aged Stakes to bring up Sydney’s last Group 1 until August.

Other big races on the day include the H.C. Nitschke Stakes at Morphetville as the Adelaide Carnival gets closer to the pinnacle, the Mornington Cup at the worst track in Australia, and unless I’m very much mistaken that race still comes with automatic entry into the Caulfield Cup, there’s the Daybreak Lover at Eagle Farm, and Ascot hosts the pinnacle of the Perth Autumn Carnival….

The Karrakatta Plate, into THE QUOKKA.

As I maintained last year, it may be worth $5 million AUD but it’s a Quokka shit… they should’ve swapped the names of the races around so that the greyhound race at Cannington (The Sandgroper on Thursday night) was The Quokka, The Nullarbor would still be the trots race at Gloucester Park as it was on Friday night, and The Sandgroper should’ve been the horse race.

What a missed chance that was.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and to be honest I think Crazy Craig’s holding out for a break after he had a real downer last Saturday following some massive performances in recent weeks… but he’ll keep going because he’s got LUCKY LIPS:

The Love Actually Pick: Actuality (No.7, Barrier 2) in Race 3 at Mornington (MR3), 12:55pm AEST

1200m F&M BM70 Handicap

Trainers: Peter Moody & Katherine Coleman, Jockey: Luke Nolen, 59kg

Good morning to all knackers, it’s Crazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, although this week I lost more scratchies than that Viva Energy refinery lost oil, off the back of NO BLOODY WINNERS…

Once again the horses can get stuffed, so I’ll keep going until I bored of it, which could be next week because as you’ll see by my opening pick this week, I’ve had to make a joke about the most annoying bloody Christmas film ever made…

It’s not Love Actually…

It’s LOVE ACTUALITY!

The Haile Gebrselassie Pick: Olympian (No.4, Barrier 8) in Race 5 at Randwick (SR5), 1:50pm AEST

2000m 3YO SW Group 3 Frank Packer Plate

Trainers: Paul Messara & Leah Gavranich, Jockey: Craig Williams, 56.5kg

I did this weeks ago with a similar horse called Gold Medalist, which could’ve been named after any one of Ian Thorpe/Emma McKeon/Ariarne Titmus/Jess Fox/Noemie Fox/Dawn Fraser/Edwin Flack/Betty Cuthbert/Anna Meares/Kieren Perkins/Cathy Freeman before we settled on the great Steven Bradbury, well this time we’ve got something even more left field…

Olympian, not named after any Australian, but after THE EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA himself, Haile Gebrselassie, twice the Olympic champion in the 10,000m, including winning the epic finish against Paul Tergat in Sydney, and why do I mention the great Emperor of long-distance running…

Because he turns 53 today, it must be time for an omen bet!

Crazy Crappy Group 1 Picks

Champagne Stakes (SR7): Campione D’Italia (No.1, Barrier 4)

The All-Aged Stakes (SR9): Giga Kick (No.1, Barrier 7)

The Quokka at Ascot: Caballus (No.2, Barrier 9)

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!