Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright friends, there is at least one decent race on this weekend, as we mark the running of the Group 1 Doomben Cup in Brisbane, a rather fascinating race this year with a small field featuring Cups Double winner Half Yours, Birdman, Vauban and Pride of Jenni, and until February 2026 the Doomben Cup had one of the great statistics in Australian racing, because Might and Power’s race record time from 1998, when the race was run over 2020m, is 2.00.530.

Until February 7, that was faster than Antino’s 2000m track record of 2.00.88, but in a dodgy BM78 on a Saturday meeting nobody gave a shit about, Prince Levi, probably named after Levi Ashcroft, ran a time of 2.00.25, so after some 27 years and a few months, the Doomben 2000m track record is faster than the 2020m track record.

Anyway, other races this week include the random late May meeting at Sandown, Murray Bridge, a return to Randwick after a few weeks out in the provincials, and Belmont hosts the WA Provincial Series Final, where some of those runners have been running in tracks that take longer to reach than a drive from Sydney to Canberra.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I couldn’t believe it, he threw in Middle Earth last week as something resembling a pisstake, and sure enough the class shone through and the Melbourne Cup placegetter went on and won the race… I tell you the boy’s got LUCKY LIPS!

The Gwyneth Paltrow Pick: Paltrow Miss (No.2, Barrier 17) in Race 7 at Doomben (BR7), 3:17pm AEST

2000m Group 2 3YO Fillies ANZ Bloodstock News The Roses

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Cejay Graham, 56.5kg

Hello hello hello everybody it’s Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and the throne has been RESTORED after last week’s efforts, and every now and then when you stick your nuts on the line looking for a win, every now and then somebody will actually make an effort not to crush your baby makers!

And that’s exactly what happened last Saturday – I was expecting some fat bugger wearing a pair of Steel Blue boots to come along, but instead they had a pair of Ugg Boots!

Moving on from that, I’ve got to go exploring with Crazy Colin this weekend, so for the sake of our accounts we’ll stick to the one pick this week, and sticking with the theme of Doomben I’ve gone to the race BEFORE the Doomben Cup, which is The Roses for the fillies, and I think we’ll go with the placegetter from the Australasian Oaks, possibly named after a former Best Actress winner from Shakespeare in Love…

PALTROW MISS.

It’s a great moment of entertainment history that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter Apple… it was that or Cumquat.

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!