Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright friends, after the man himself had an urgent rest last weekend we return for the first Saturday of the southern winter, with a Queensland Day special of the Queensland Oaks at Eagle Farm, the day after the running of the Epsom Oaks in England, with the ancient Epsom Derby being run this evening, and the Belmont Stakes is being run at Saratoga on our Sunday morning…

According to Carly Simon, there’ll be a vain man at Saratoga with a horse running in one of the races there.

Other noteworthy races include the Bob Charley Stakes at Randwick, Flemington has nothing interesting, I looked and saw there’s racing in Broome, plus the Raconteur Stakes at Belmont, and it’ll be good to see them actually racing at Belmont this winter, after last year was an omnishambles due to damage to the track.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and ultimately the resident lunatic missed last week as he quite simply realised he’d buggered up his schedule and wouldn’t have enough time to send through his email… I told him he could send it as a text message, but he told me instead to get ****ed, because he’s got LUCKY LIPS!

The Clash Pick: (Rock The) Nasebah (No.10, Barrier 1) in Race 4 at Randwick (SR4), 12:45pm AEST

1600m F&M BM78 Handicap

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Siena Grima (a2), 56.5kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Crazy Craig, TBFB, back to get some much-needed scratchies to the down on their luck ahead of a harsh winter, and if the Swan Hill races on Friday were any guide, it’s going to be a BLOODY HARD WINTER!

Anyway, it looks like Randwick has dried up a fraction so we can head back there, and the first pick will have to be one of Chris Waller’s British imports that shit it in during a Benchmark 64 a few weeks back, and as we all know winning a midweek Benchmark 64 means you’re a punter’s best friend, and on top of that she’s got a name that sounds like something The Clash sang about in 1982…

The Shareef he don’t like it
Rockin’ the Nasebah, rock the Nasebah
The Shareef he don’t like it
Rockin’ the Nasebah, rock the Nasebah

“But as the wind changed direction and the temple band took fire, the crowd caught a whiff, of that crazy Nasebah jive!”

The Bob Geldof Pick: Boomtown Boss (No.8, Barrier 6) E/W in Race 9 at Eagle Farm (BR9), 4:28pm AEST

1200m Group 2 Set Weights Ladbrokes Moreton Cup

Trainer: Tony Gollan, Jockey: Tommy Berry, 55.5kg

Good thing this race is on Saturday, because we all know Bob Geldof didn’t like Mondays!

The Queensland Oaks Pick: Chispa (No.8) out of BARRIER 20… good thing it’s a 2200m race

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!