Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Just an update from last week – Crazy Craig couldn’t do his tips because he wanted to stay up and watch the Socceroos at 5am on a Saturday morning, so he decided the horses could go and get stuffed.

By the end of that game, it was the Americans who could get stuffed as well.

Anyway friends, with Royal Ascot done and Joliestar running a brave 3rd, we have arrived at the last Group 1 of the 2025/26 season with the Tatt’s Tiara as part of the Tattersall’s raceday in Brisbane, with the Tattersall’s Stakes for the 2YOs, the Group 3 Tattersall’s Cup, the Tattersall’s Gold Crown, the Tattersall’s Mile, and the Group 3 W.J. Healy Stakes.

More Tatts than a Caboolture shopping centre.

I did also look up the time gap between now and the next Group 1 race (Which should be the Winx Stakes at Randwick in mid-August), and somehow that 6 weeks isn’t the longest time gap between Group 1s in any given year, because there’s usually 2 months between the last Group 1 in Perth in December and the first Group 1 in Melbourne in February.

Other races include the Listed W.J. McKell Stakes at Rosehill, some crappy races at Caulfield and Belmont, and looking at the country races, the Gatton Cup is on in the town between Toowoomba and Brisbane, and there’s a random meeting at Roebourne in northern WA, a town that was actually destroyed by a cyclone in 1872…. shame they’ve never rebuilt it.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I would note the last time Craig actually bothered to tip he landed 2 winners from 2 picks as Skyhook and Thebudgiesmugla both won… and he picked Spicy Martini to win the Stradbroke at 13/1, IF YOU DON’T MIND UMPIRE!

The Elizabeth Hurley P(r)ick: Red Hot Lizzie (No.11, Barrier 18) E/W in Race 4 at Eagle Farm (BR4), 1:28pm AEST

1200m Ladbrokes Battle of the Bush Final

Trainer: Lachie Manzelmann, Jockey: Adam Sewell, 54kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Crazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and in light of recent events in Australian entertainment, I think it’s time I took on a new career…

By applying for the hosting role on the Channel 9 Today show!

Come on, I can’t be any worse than Jessica Rowe was!

Anyway, we’ll make one last trip to Eagle Farm for the winter, and despite my best efforts this race was not sponsored by Tattersalls, and it’s actually the great Battle of the Bush, which surprisingly doesn’t see the great town of Bairnsdale represented, which might be because this race is biased towards Queensland tinpot towns, so to mask the disappointment, here’s Elizabeth Hurley to help us with Red Hot Lizzie, who will probably end up getting torched from a wide barrier!

The Drifters P(r)ick: Momentz (No.11, Barrier 2) E/W in Race 7 at Caulfield (MR7), 3:30pm AEST

1700m BM78 Handicap

Trainers: Peter Moody & Katherine Coleman, Jockey: Luke Cartwright (a1.5kg), 58.5kg

This magic Momentz
While your lips are close to mine
Would last forever
Forever ’til the end of time!

Two value picks… you really have gone insane Crazy Craig!

Tatt’s Tiara Pick (BR8): Within The Law (No.17, Barrier 10) E/W… I fought Within The Law, and the law won

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!