Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

The last Saturday of the 2025/26 season, and of course this is the week to decide the Metro, Country and National jockeys and trainers premierships, as Chris Wallers will comfortably win the Australian Trainers Premiership after brutally striking back against Ciaron Maher with winners and Group 1 winners galore (375 to 329), then once again it’ll be our Lord and Saviour William Pike who takes out the Australian Jockey Premiership as he sits on 201 winners to date, some 42 clear of Ben Thompson…

The most ridiculous part of that stat is the Wizard has 201 winners from 736 rides, a lazy strike rate of 27.3% (The best of any jockey in Australia with more than 500 rides this year), compared to Thompson whose 159 winners have come from 895 rides…

Some other premierships in question include the Victorian premiership, although it would appear Jamie Mott has that all but won, and the big premiership race still on the line all the way to next Friday is the NSW Jockey Premiership, as Aaron Bullock sits on 121 winners, Zac Lloyd is right behind him on 120, Tommy Berry is on 118, and a stiff Pierre Boudvillain in 4th is on 115 winners…

Usually it’s great when we get 2 jockeys still fighting it out for a premiership this deep into a season, and New South Wales got 4 of them.

Anyway, I thought it was more interesting writing about the premiership races than the actual races on Saturday, because to be quite honest they look rather forgettable, with nothing much outside of the Group 3 Bletchingly at Caulfield, then the H.G. Bolton Sprint at Belmont, the Lightning Stakes at Morphetville, the Bundaberg Cup where the winner gets a bottle of rum, and the Mackay Cup, and if Ben McKay wasn’t playing for Essendon he’d have been straight up and watching trackside…

In fact, the best race of the day isn’t until late at night with the Group 1 King George VI And Queen Elizabeth Stakes at Royal Ascot.

Anyway, speaking of forgettable here’s Crazy Craig, and in honour of the 1 year anniversary of Ozzy Osbourne’s passing, here’s CRAZY TRAIN!

The INXS Pick: Zou Sensation (No.3, Barrier 8) E/W in Race 7 at Caulfield (MR7), 3:50pm AEST

1200m Group 3 WFA Bletchingly Stakes

Trainers: Leon & Troy Corstens & Will Larkin, Jockey: Jamie Mott, 58.5kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, backing up off another WINNER last week, and on the last Saturday of the racing season I feel like Michael Hutchence at Wembley…

No, I’m not about to go into a hotel room and never come back, I’VE GOT A ZOU SENSATION at Caulfield!

The Steely Dan Pick: Twisted Steel…y Dan (No.12, Barrier 2) in Race 7 at Belmont (PR7), 4:05pm AWST (6:05)

1200m Listed H.G. Bolton Sprint

Trainer: Simon Miller, Jockey: Clint Johnston-Porter, 54kg

The quinella pairing from the Beaufine go it again in the Bolton as Twisted Steel gets a weight swing and an extra 200m on Immortal Bliss, which will come in handy when he gets held up in running like he did in the Beaufine, and I think just like Steely Dan themselves, they’ll go back, Jack, DO IT AGAIN.

And while Twisted Steel is going to be reeling in Immortal Bliss in the straight, Steely Dan are going to be Reelin’ in the Years!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!