Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS TIME FOR A VERY RARE HORSE’S BIRTHDAY EDITION OF CRAZY CRAIG!

AND ON THAT NOTE, HERE’S ALTERED IMAGES!

How appropriate that during a Scottish Commonwealth Games, we have a Scottish band.

Also, considering there’s 2 Leap Years between now and 2032, there won’t be another August 1st on a Saturday for well over another decade…. If I do my maths right, the next time we’ll get a chance to do this is 2037, by which time the Earth will have successfully solved global warming by engaging in nuclear winter.

So on that note, we have arrived at the first day of the 2026/27 racing season, with just 3 months to go until the Melbourne Cup, and the new season kicks off in familiar fashion as Flemington hosts the Group 3 Aurie’s Star, there’s a meeting at Rosehill, and other than that I’d say everyone is just warming up for the Darwin Cup on Monday.

And with nothing else interesting to add, here’s Crazy Craig.

The Balitmora Pick: Tarzing (No.8, Barrier 12) in Race 7 at Rosehill (SR7), 2:55pm AEST

1400m BM78 National Jockey’s Trust Handicap

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 58kg

Hello hello everybody, Crazy Craig TBFB here, Dethroned Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and I’m ready to be bored shitless over the next 364 days, and we’ll kick it off with a crap joke at Rosehill, because I mainly picked Tarzing because then I can make the classic footy joke if he loses…

Looks like Tarzing, RACES LIKE JANE.

Also, because we can play this timeless 1980s classic by Baltimora… no, it’s not Tarzan Boy, it’s TARZING BOY!

Night to night
Gimme the other, gimme the other!

The Helen Reddy Pick: Rise at Dawn (No.2, Barrier 11) E/W in Race 8 at Flemington (MR8), 4:25pm AEST

BM100 Handicap

Trainers; Ben, Will and JD Hayes, Jockey: Luke Cartwright (a1.5), 61.5kg

Delta Dawn, or Delta RISE AT DAWN…

Rise at Dawn, what’s that flower you have on
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
And did I hear you say, he was a-meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky?

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!