HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE NAGS OF THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE

I looked at The Wizard’s stats for this season before writing this up- After 234 winners last season, he’s only ridden 1 this season!

What a hack!

Anyway, the horses have had their birthdays and delightful carrot cake, and the new season is officially UN.DER.WAY!

And what another Sloppy Saturday we’ve got ahead- Racing returns to Death Valley, which I will be completely avoiding on the basis that it’s Death Valley, there’s the usual Randwick business, and the EPIC action up in the Top End at this time of year kicks off with the Palmerston Sprint on the dirt, before the fabled Darwin Cup on Monday!

Speaking of which, did anyone see the look of this kid after his horse got done at Galway?

Welcome to the big bad world of punting son.

Pelethronius (No.4, Barrier 6) in Race 3 at Randwick, 12:55pm AEST

1600m Benchmark 88 Handicap

Trainer: David ‘Michelle’ Pfeiffer, Hoop: Kerrin McEvoy, 56.5kg

I’m impersonating Crazy Craig here, and pulling the classic 2nd Favourite to beat the Favourite.

The in-form Pelethronius was going to run in the Coffs Harbour Cup on Thursday, until David Pffeifer decided to scratch him and wait for Saturday, where he could beat some genuine milk drinkers like Gresham on a Heavy track!

Pelethronius could very well be short for Pele, and if I look at his wet track stats, when the rain comes down, he sure does turn into something resembling Pele: 7 starts on Heavy tracks, for 5 wins and one placing.

So stuff writing anything else, if it stays a Heavy track by tomorrow afternoon, that’s my reason for you RIGHT THERE.

Get it done for us… KERRIN.

Champagne Jet (No.2, Barrier 6) in Race 3 at Doomben, 1:03pm AEST

UPDATE 9:18AM AWST- SCRATCHED, SO SCREW IT, I’LL TAKE Astro Boy Toy (No.4, Barrier 4)

1350m 3YO Handicap

Trainer: Toby & Trent Edmonds, Hoop: The Fraddster Ryan Maloney

Toby Edmonds and his son Trent are now doing what Darth Vader couldn’t achieve with Luke Skywalker, and that’s work as a father & son team.

And immediately, the Edmonds boys have got their tentacles all over this 3rd race on the card, with the filly Champagne Jet and the colt Toy Boy leading the market in a condensed field, but for no reason at all, I’m going for the filly in this war.

She comes in off the short backup from last Saturday, from which she’s literally aged a year, where after a bad jump she ended up worse than midfield on the rail, which at any track is just about a death sentence (Especially at Eagle Farm), but she did hit the line pretty well to grab 3rd, despite being no chance of running down the winner Ginger Rock.

That South African madman Robbie Fradd climbs aboard, she’s ip 3.5kg (Slight sweaty brow stuff), to the 1350 for the first time, so if she inevitably doesn’t win, I’ll just blame my rotten Queensland luck.

Zaratite (No.5, Barrier 13) in Race 4 at Belmont, 1:29pm AWST (3:29)

2000m 64+ Walter Harmer 70th Birthday Handicap

Trainer: Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: ‘Pikey’, 57kg

Mr Peters’ horse Zaratite appeared in the Chalk Eaters Guide a fortnight ago, and delivered The Wizard his long-awaited first winner for this unholy guide, which he followed up last week with Essential Spice winning easily.

The dam wall burst, don’t you worry about that!

Zaratite is now a four-year-old, and he finished off his time at age three with a pair of very solid wins at Pinjarra and then Belmont, where she was well supported, and then duly flew home in a wall of driving rain.

It’s due to rain tomorrow, so any questions about slop are well and truly answered, although the bigger challenge appears to come in the form of Here Comes Lenni, and the Great Southern galloper Defiantly.

The wide gate shouldn’t be a problem, considering he’s won from off the speed before, plus he retains The Wizard, and managed to get off pretty well in the weights- 57 kegs in a Benchmark 64 race, compared to the 55 he carried in 60 grade.

It’s going to a bare knuckle brawl out there, so get it done for your billions of disciples Pikey, and bring up a Chalk Eaters hat-trick.

Cyber Intervention (No.7, Barrier 11) in Race 8 at Randwick, 4:05pm AEST

1800m Benchmark 78 Handicap

Trainer: Joe Pride, Hoop: Tim Clark, 58kg

Interventions are usually reserved for friends who need help, but a Cyber Intervention is what I’ll be on the end of in about a fortnight, the way this blog is going.

The horse however, is one of those ‘Get back and fly home’ types, which usually end with them getting back and running like they’re welded to the grass at the turn.

It’s worth noting that he’s run 2nd in both starts this prep (1300 & 1500m), both from well off the speed, which has followed a similar pattern to his runs back in the Summer- Continually rising in distance, before finishing off with a fourth-up win over the 2000m, although of course the difference is Pride now has him third-up, and he’s over the 1800m.

Anyway, long story short, it’s a Heavy track, it’s not Rosehill, which should mean there’ll be no problem making up ground, so for the love of Jehoshaphat, get it done ‘TC’, which is apparently code for ‘That Cobber’.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

LAYING Travimyfriend (No.6, Barrier 3) in Race 4 at Moonee Valley, 1:45pm AEST

1600m Handicap

Trainer: Rachael Frost, Jockey: Michael Dee

G’day cobbers, it’s your mad mate Crazy Craig, the Boy From Bairnsdale, or CCTBFB for short!

And I tell you what, Hayley Joel Osment had a sixth sense for seeing people with as much life as John Denver, well I’ve got a sixth sense for laying horses!

And guess what! I’m so crazy, that I’m laying another one!

I’m off to the torturous confines of Death Valley this Saturday to lay some nag named after a “Travi”, who appears to be a friend of someone, but that’s not the reason I’m going after “Travi”- It’s because I noticed he’s never won over the mile in 8 previous attempts…. and yet he’s come up a $3.10 favourite!

That’s Craaaaaaazy business!

Kentucky Breeze won last start over the Flemington mile, manages to remain at the 54kg, and yet he’s $5!

But at the end of the day, mile records be damned, because if you aren’t leading at Death Valley, you’re absolutely screwed, so sorry ‘Travi’, you’re not my friend, you’re my LAY. OF. THE. DAY.

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaazy Craig!

I’m surprised he didn’t go after Mandela in Race 1 at Randwick, but that’s Crazy Craig for you.