Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 21st December

The catch-cry of the Waterford TAB – “HIDDHIM, HIDDHIM, HIDDHIM!”

A Festivus miracle occurred today – I thought I’d backed Sure Knee in the 8th at Flemington, then watched his inevitable money munching performance…. only to realise that I hadn’t hit confirm on the TAB app.

Anyway, along came Laverrod 20 minutes later with an ace up the T to get me out of a hole.

“Now don’t be sad, ’cause 3 out of 4 ain’t bad.”

Yulong January in Race 7 at Flemington – WINNER

The money came flooding in all bloody day for Yulong January, with some justification, because it was another utterly dominant frontrunning performance, befitting of such a dominant favourite.

Summing up the dominance, Violate tried sitting on the outside to keep the pressure on Yulong January – But ended up getting beaten so thoroughly that the poor bugger pulled up lame.

Word For Word in Race 7 at Randwick – 2nd

Good lord, what an absolute shitshow – And not just because of that smoke.

Word did jump and find a spot in transit reasonably well, but it all started going south when Bossy used Pumpkin Pie to do nothing other than box in the favourite on the corner, catching Nash asleep at the wheel, which the man known as Nasty Nash didn’t take well, and tried a revenge belting of Pumpkin at the 400, who promptly fell in a hole and disappeared, while Word For Word charged ahead in a driving finish….

Only to get beaten by Ashrani.

In hindsight, I’m glad my hopes of a perfect day were crushed after only 2 races…. Getting bloused on the line in the last would have been a result I deserved.

Regal Power in the Ted van Heemst Stakes at Ascot – WINNER

As Gary Harley would say, the favourite is the favourite for a reason, and Regal Power proved that the moment Pikey had a front row view of Gatting’s arse for the entire trip, before getting sick of it at the 300 and meandering past to an effortless victory.

If we’re being realistic, this was one of the crappier Group 2s you’ll see in Australia…. and we’ve got plenty of them.

British Bessy in Race 10 at Ascot – WINNER

“It happens.”

“What, shit?”


It was a good end to the day for Smokin’ Joe, who booted home Snowchino in the Starstruck Classic, and then heaved Bessy over the line in the last in a heroic victory against the legions of Pike backers on Sentimental Gift.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

LAYING Harry Thomas in Race 3 at Ascot – LAY SUCCESSFUL

Crazy Craig showed extreme bravery taking on a 3rd favourite (Who was briefly 4th in the market) on the advice of his Perth contact, and he was duly rewarded when Royal Command blew past Harry Thomas (Brother of William) in the straight…. only to get frozen solid by Arctic Stream.

Still, he was correct.


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