Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 21st December

It’s the 21st of December, and now they’re ringing the last bells

I can’t help but feel Big Gaz would make a good Santa

First up, the major news, and aside from some minor things like drug possession charges, Queensland Racing announced Stradbroke Day next year will be revamped, with the O’Shea Stakes becoming the $1.5m Group 2 WFA EVA Air Q22 over the 2200m, with Vow And Declare set for an appearance – But more importantly, the Brisbane Cup has been restored to 3200m!

But of course, the downside this week has been this historically awful weather taking oer Australia, which has seen about half-a-dozen meetings lost over the past week due to extreme heat, but that means bugger all with some of the scenes around the nation right now, and I’ll hop on the bandwagon in sending my best wishes to the fireys of Australia.

Anyway, the action this week sees the Warwick Farm meeting transferred to Randwick, a Christmas-themed meeting at Flemington, up at Eagle Farm they’re marking a year since the great rebuild with The Favelon Quality, and the Wild Wild West sees one of the last major lead-ups to the Perth Cup, the G2 WFA Ted Van Heemst, formerly known as the Cox Stakes.

The other big race in the equine world is the Arima Kinen at Nakayama, a thrilling fight between a deadset legend in Almond Eye, versus the Cox Plate winner Lys Gracieux, and fittingly, Frosty Lane will be in Japan to boot her home, after the Sushi Akubras put in a good word.

Yulong January (No.5, Barrier 5) in Race 7 at Flemington, 4:40pm AEDT

1400m Yuletide Handicap

Trainer(s): Maher and Useless, Hoop: Jye McNeil, 54.5kg

Despite being a month away from his name being correct, Yulong January has stayed at the 1400m in his last 2 starts at the provincials, and wouldn’t you know it, he’s led both times, and won both times – First at Ballarat on their Cup day, and then at Pakenham on their Cup day in the Vobis Gold Bullion, giving the Chinese some very hefty winning bonuses, and improving his career record to 5 wins from 11 starts.

Anyway, he does move into open grade here, but drops a very handy 4.5 kilos on that Pakenham win, and from the low gate should get an uncontested lead, and Jye McNeil, a win away from qualifying for the Chalk Eaters Hall of Fame after his recent performances, will give him every conceivable chance of making it a hat-trick.

Word For Word (No.4, Barrier 3) in Race 7 at Randwick, 5pm AEDT

1400m F&M Benchmark 78 Handicap

Trainer: Chris Waller, Hoop: Nash Rawiller, 59.5kg

Off to the transferred Randwick meeting, and next up we’ve got the classic Chris Waller milk drinker in Word Ford Word, a mare with 1 win and 5 minor placings from 7 starts, which makes me question why she’s making an appearance here, but I stopped caring about the quality of this pisstake in April.

She had no luck 1st Up at Rosehill after getting squeezed in the straight, and ultimately finished 4th (As we say at Karrawarra, FFA), albeit half a length behind Handspun and Pumpkin Pie, who will both be fronting up again tomorrow.

Most Americans would agree that Pumpkin Pie is a better performer around Thankgsiving time, instead of Christmas time.

She gets Handspun 1.5 kilos better off on Saturday, she’s been well supported in the early markets, so just watch her lose on merit this time.

Regal Power (No.5, Barrier 6) in Race 8 at Ascot, 4:42pm AWST (7:42)

2100m Group 2 WFA Ted Van Heemst Stakes

Trainer(s): Bob Peters Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: Pikey, 58kg

Regal Power has been screaming out for a longer trip after winning the Railway, and then running 6th in the Kingston Town, and he gets it here in the race formerly known as the Cox Stakes –

Bugger it, here’s what I’m trying to say.

British Bessy (No.6, Barrier 2) in Race 10 at Ascot, 5:57pm AWST (8:57)

2200m 66+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Sharon Miller, Hoop: Smokin’ Joe, 54kg

It’s Round 3 in the Lightweight staying Championship of WA, and after Sentimental Gift won the last at Ascot a fortnight ago to tie the score at 1 apiece, I’m converting to punting Satanism and supporting British Bessy against the power of Pike In The Last, which can only end in my sheckles being burned in a fiery ritual conducted by the TAB.

Bessy was well-supported to beat Sentimental Gift last time out on Kingston Town day, but like the old gag of “And the Lord said to John, come forth and receive eternal life”, Bessy came 5th and won a toaster.

Anyway, she stays at 54 kilos again, while Sentimental Gift goes up to 56.5, she’s got the advantage from the draw, she’s got a win on the board against Uncle Bob’s mare, and she’s perfectly capable of doing it again….

And running 3rd at the same time.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Apparently this was voted No.1 on Crazy Craig’s Christmas Songs, as voted by Crazy Colin

LAYING Harry Thomas (No.2, Barrier 1) in Race 3 at Ascot, 4:27pm AEDT

1800m 72+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Ross Price, Jockey: Jarrad Noske

Ho ho ho kiddies, it’s Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, and I may have been banned from dressing up as Santa after a massive performance at the 1987 Christmas function, but I’m still cherry ripe for some festive season Lays!

And in the festive spirit, I’ve got a present straight from my big red sack for you – For the first time in 2019, I’m heading over to the WIIIIILD WIIIIILD WEST, after I received a bit of mail from my Perth contact Mr Drofla!

How crazy is that!

Anyway, the target is a certain Harry Thomas, possibly a brother of William, who won his last start a fortnight ago, thanks entirely to a craaaaazily slow speed up front, which told in the straight when he had enough petrol to hold off Jedaffair in what I’d describe as a boat race – And we don’t get many of those here in Bairnsdale!

Tomorrow, he’s come up $4 and on the third-line of the market against Royal Command and Superior Smile, but if ask your old mate Crazy Craig, THAT’S STILL TOO SHORT!

I don’t think he’ll get away sitting up on speed with 2 good horses lurking on his arse-hairs, so thank you and Merry Christmas Mr Drofla, I’m taking on Harry Thomas, because as everyone knows, you can’t trust people with two first names!


I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAAZY CRAIG!

Classic Crazy Craig – Taking on a 3rd Favourite.

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