Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 4th January

First of all, I’ve smashed my previous Chalk Eaters viewing record with 225 views today (So thanks everyone for that), But second of all, let me tell you, I am looking forward to this little spell.

Deadset, some of these rides on short priced favourites are bigger letdowns than the last 3 Star Wars films.

It’s just one craptacular result after the other.

So as for the Chalk Eaters break, at this stage I’ll be back on the 25th – Which is technically 3 weeks from now… Hopefully by then Crazy Craig has had enough time to deal with the Bairnsdale fire situation.

The Pines in Race 5 at the Gold Coast – 4th

It was a shitshoot from the jump – She buckled bigtime, and then received the the kind of bump that Tony Abbott wished he could’ve delivered on Uncle Vlad.

That dropped her back to last, facing a wall of equine arses, although highlighting her ability, she was able to find the gaps and fly through to miss the money by barely a length.

In a classic Queensland crapshoot, it’s fair to say The Pines were on the receiving end of a chainsaw.

Word For Word in Race 8 at Randwick – 3rd

Word for Word?

More like 3rd For 3rd.

What a way to sum up your career – Jumping in the red, Nash Rawiller decided to spend as much time as possible demolishing Cinquedea in a pocket, thinking he had a lapful of horse underneath him.

Turns out the wheel was turning, but the hamster was dead.

He ended up suffering the glory of failing to run down $51 shot Mecurial Lad, who put everyone on the canvas in leading all the way.

She’s now blacklisted from the Chalk Eaters as a certified Milk Drinker, and Nash…. You’re one crap ride away from a flying brick.

Fabergino in the Summer Scorcher at Ascot – WINNER

In simple terms, it was another Ab Fab performance from The Liverpool Grey, winning in a lazy time of 57.31, despite only going full bore for 950m.

Being completely serious, they should have called the race off the moment she jumped into the lead, because bloody hell, it was like watching Forrest Gump returning that kickoff against Tennessee.

Here’s a replay, which for some reason is muted, probably so I can enjoy the silence of victory.

Taxagano in The Perth Cup – 3rd (Technically a correct tip)

You know what, In hindsight, the each way bet I suggested would’ve payed out – Technically I was correct, the best kind of correct!

What another huge effort from The Taxman – He was getting a Shangri-La of a time out in front, then suddenly had the shit poured on him by Plays The Game at the 1200 (Which put the speed into the race), and despite being entitled to drop dead, true to form, he just kept on digging in and withstood everyone except Missile Launch and Uncle Bob’s favourite Mississippi Delta.

Just on that, check out the jockeys’ comments after the race, and go to about 1:16 to hear from Brad making his thoughts very clear about that move.

But anyway, he’s not the hero of this story, because like everyone else 35% of the time every season, he got beaten by another magic trick from The Wizard on Mississippi Delta.

Dead last on the corner…. and he still won by a length.

That’s arrogance.

It does lead to the question as to why I didn’t include Pikey in today’s guide, but I would add, if I did it every week, it’d simply start tasting like a piece of gum you’ve already chewed.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Laying Smart ‘n’ Sexy in the Aquis Gold Pearl at the Gold Coast – LAY SUCCESSFFUL

Toby and Trent Edmonds won the race – They quinella’d the race in fact – But importantly for the Bairnsdale Bandit, it wasn’t Smart ‘N’ Sexy who saluted the judges.

I should point out though, despite an awkward jump and coming from last, she deadset looked home for all money at the 200, and then the 100, as it appeared Queen Kay was going to cop one of the worst beats of the day, but in a thrilling finish, Smart ‘N’ Sexy was stood up by the brilliant turn of foot of her stablemate.

Funnily enough, Queen Kay isn’t a Magic Millions purchase, so she won’t be eligible to start in next week’s Classic, and does make you question why Toby even sent her into this race – Probably just for shits and giggles, which he’s achieved in spades.

If that wasn’t enough, the Edmonds father & son ended up winning the boys race as well with Wisdom Of Water.

Anyway, bravo again, and thank you for your services Craig, now, go deal with those fires threatening your hovel.

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