I believe I said at the end of yesterday’s Guide that if this week’s tips don’t all fail horribly, I’ll drink a stubby.

Well, all I can say is…

THANKS BUFFALO RIVER.

On another note, today’s feelgood story should be Damien Thornton, who travelled to South Australia and did his two week isolation just to ride Chris Waller’s Toffee Tongue in the Australasian Oaks.

Getting reward for what was a great chance of ending up futile, Australia’s previously best maiden horse won the race emphatically, giving Damo his first Group 1 victory.

He nearly made it two in the same day aboard Lyre in the Sangster, but Bella Vella had pinched too big a lead and sprung the upset.

On another note, today’s Chalk Eaters has become the new benchmark for all-time Saturday tipping viewership… at a lofty 250 views.

Good job folks, thanks for reading and becoming frustrated – As always, it’s a team effort!

Roccabascerana in the Kewney Stakes at Morphetville – The arse end of nowhere

To state the obvious, I only picked Roccabascerana so I could make that stupid Clash joke.

It was that or pick Garner and just show 20 minute videos of Joel Garner ripping the Aussies to shreds in the mid 1980s.

So on that note, let’s play The Clash again!

The Shareef don’t like it

Roccabascerana, Roccabascerana

The Shareef don’t like it

Roccabascerana, Roccabascerana

Bandersnatch in Race 8 at Randwick (Kensington) – 4th

Bandersnatch had every hope after getting the lead fairly easily, but he couldn’t shake off Outrageous, and weakened out in the straight as the swoopers ran the quinella – Outrageous just beat out Bandersnatch to fill the minor placings.

Funnily enough, it turned out the heart-ripping scene from Temple Of Doom was re-enacted in Race 8, and Phaistos played a major part.

As it turned out, it was Phaistos who ripped Thy Kingdom Come’s heart out after storming from last to win on the post, handing Hugh Bowman his 5th winner of the day.

It was like riding a broomstick for Hughie.

Buffalo River in Race 9 at Sandown – WINNER

Everyone waited until sundown to wait for the best backed runner in Australia today, and the confidence was returned in kind when the Seppo/British expat Buffalo had Achernar Star covered at every moment, and despite some strange riding from Ollie, he still had panels on that lot, although Harbour Views gave a sign that he has plenty to offer by running on for 3rd.

A $2 winner – I really can pick ’em.

Laverrod in Race 10 at Ascot – LATE SCRATCHING

Well, here’s a bit of history for the Chalk Eaters – The first time I’ve ever had a tip scratched at the gates!

I was surprised it took this long – Now all I need is a protest of some kind.

Laverrod was backed into $1.70, then he obviously hit his head on the structure seconds before the jump, the vet wasn’t satisfied, and everyone had a collect when he was withdrawn.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t the first instance of a favourite being scratched at Ascot today – Kelvin in Race 8 was backed into $2.50, had a moment in the barrier structure, and he was taken out on vet’s advice.

Fortunately for everyone still in the favourite numbers + those who went one-out in the quaddie, the sub Pym’s Royale won easily to cap off a very good day for the Fernie family, and I suppose we’ll never know how he could’ve gone against the Rocket.

I can’t recall ever making a sub-rule for when one of my favourite selections is a late scratching, so this will have to go down as a No Result.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

LAYING Sunlight in the Robert Sangster Stakes at Morphetville – CORRECT

Crazy Craig said he had a ‘good’ feeling that Sunlight was in huge trouble with the barrier (16), and he hit the nail on the head right from the jump, in what turned into one of th easiest Lays Craig has ever produced.

The result of the wide barrier was this piece of riding from Barend Vorster, clearly doing the right thing and adhering to social distancing rules.

The Saffer could’ve attempted to sit 3-wide on the mare, but, it probably would’ve ended the same way – Dropping out and finishing at the rear.

The Sangster also showed why 2YOs never win Open Age Group 1s… and barely any ever race out of their own age bracket.

Away Game was given every chance sitting just in behind Bella Vella, but she got beaten up average horses, but still battled on to run 5th.

In my untrained view, you’d have to have a juvenile of Pierro’s quality to pull off the feat of a 2YO winning in the older brackets.

Anyway, in another black eye to Group 1 racing, Bella Vella, a rejected broodmare and genuine 955m Valley horse, managed to grab enough of a lead to join Black Caviar on the Sangster honour roll.