Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 23rd May

Well, the news of the day:

The Eagle Farm Bomb Threat

Well, it’s not surprising – That bloody track has been a minefield for in excess of 5 years.

When I first heard about the ‘police incident’ at the Farm, I thought Robbie Fradd was finally getting extradited to Hong Kong for that Fairy King Prawn ride against Sunline in 2000.

You’ve got to appreciate the stupidity of some wannabe domestic terrorists – Calling in a fake bomb threat on a race meeting…..

THAT DIDN’T HAVE ANY SPECTATORS.

Anyway, if I could provide a metaphor for my performance today, with a glorious 2 placings and 2 shit ones, it would be this:


Overlord in Race 1 at Randwick – 2nd

I knew that was going to happen, and I still did it… Although I ended up taking a nap at 9am and missed the race.

Turns out that phone call The Cheetah received from his colleage WAS about Overlord.


Milwaukee in The Straight Six at Flemington – Bahahahahaha

Milwaukee probably needed a Soft 6 to run well, but he simply never got it, and on a track that was rated a Heavy 8, but was apparently closer to a 10, this was the result.

You’ll notice on the replay that the poor bugger (In the navy blue & yellow silks) drowned at the 400…

Some say he still hasn’t been fished out.


Kinane in the Gunsynd Classic at Eagle Farm – 3rd

He got vetted after arriving on course, he got dragged back to the rear, he never looked like winning, but all I can say is…

Outstanding form analysis from Giddy-Up:

The Each Way play lobbed easily – I was able to buy a Coffee Chill with my $6 winnings for going the place at $1.22.

That was better odds than what you got for Charleton Eddie.

The same can’t be said for Brent ‘BZ’ Zerafa on Racing.com, who was entrusted with the $12,225 bank in the Let It Ride, and instead of going the safe option of a place, as suggested by his comrades, he went all-in on Kinane.

It’s always go to know that when you’ve put in an absolute crap one, there’s bound to be some numpty who’s performed worse.

Anyway, Kinane was clearly beaten by the barrier, and I look forward to loading up the 13th bank loan on him for his Grand Final.


Sliced Bread in Race 9 at Belmont – Somewhere in the Swan River

A ripping go in the last, as Sliced Bread waged a captivating two-horse war with Indian Chant, and the leading fiber source got the bob in a photo…

To run second-last.

Never ever looked like it, and the late move for Son of Bacchus, possibly named after Rod Marsh’s son Dan, proved to be correct.

This calls for a classic CSI Miami gag.

It’s fair to say after that performance, Sliced Bread…..

Has gone mouldy.

Remember to keep your sound below 50%

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day


LAYING Thy Kingdom Come in Race 2 at Eagle Farm – CORRECT

Prophetic words from Craig:

John, let me make this clear – Your horse will probably run well tomorrow, and I’ll give you some free Crazy Craig advice…

Tell the owners not to spend that runners-up cheque straight away!

And talk about life imitating art – He got run down on the post as well.

Might need to change Thy Kingdom Come’s name, because with the luck he’s had in driving finishes, the Lord definitely isn’t on his side.

Just another note – Was it any coincidence that the bomb hoax occurred after Thy Kingdom Come got rolled in Race 2?

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