Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 4th July

After 18 months of trying, IT HAS HAPPENED.


And bloody oath, Quantico was inches away from any one of: losing by a lip, winning, and being involved in the seldom seen triple dead heat with Stuttering.

So the only two wild events I need to tick off are:

Win on protest

Lose on protest

In fact, I’ve somehow never had a runner on here involved in a protest.

Anyway, that was the closest I got to sniffing a complete win – Obviously my little gag about avoiding Flemington because of COVID-19 probably cost me at least 2 winners, but it was all for services to self-abusing comedy.

Mr Dependable in Race 4 at Randwick – 4th

There is nothing dependable about anything trained out of Tulloch Lodge.

It was so ordinary on a Heavy 9 that Sky didn’t even bother putting up a replay.

Howlowcanyougo in Race 5 at Murray Bridge – 6th

As part of my joke about not punting at Flemington out of fear of contract COVID-19, I gave up Cherry Tortoni to back that thing as my traditional ‘Just back whatever the hell Patrick Payne trains’ strategy.

How low can I go?

Low enough to joke myself out of a winner.

If you ask me, that’s a cracking joke in of itself.

Quantico in Race 7 at Eagle Farm – DEAD HEAT WINNER

As I mentioned previously, I’ve finally achieved a Dead Heat.

And how close was it to being the first triple dead-heat in Australian racing in the 21st Century.

The more I look at it, the more I think of what could’ve been if Quantico had have been able to get into clear running earlier in the straight, because I reckon Mallyon lost about a length having to get the extreme outside, yet full credit to the horse, he was able to pick up and charge home and almost grab full honours.

Still, he didn’t lose and he technically won – That’s good enough for me.

Serenity Bay in Race 10 at Belmont – 3rd


I had planned on backing Chantrea in the Oaks (With Kay Cee getting scratched there was no contest) + Serenity Bay, but I ended up betting on the Over 53.5 on the Crusaders-Highlanders game, which didn’t finish until the last jumped because of a couple of injury stoppages.

Let me tell you, there was plenty of cheering in my cave when the Crusaders scored in the final seconds to tack another try on to a 40-20 win to push it past 54 points.

Anyway, I spent about 3/4 of the race getting Serenity Bay and the eventual winner Resistance mixed up, purely because they’ve both got a significant shade of pear on their silks – They were also carrying No.13 and 14.

One of them was 26/1 and the other was 2/1, and yet, they raced like they were opposite prices.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

LAYING Chapada in Race 2 at Flemington – SUCCESS

I have no idea what the hell that race was meant to be, but Chapada didn’t win.

And Crazy Craig said he was confident on Lord Belvedere… Even if he did call him Lord Beldevere.

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