Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 19th September

Serving a 3-week suspension for backing Farnan

In fairness, he still ran home better than Farnan

So let’s go through that sequence:

Hugh Bowman returns to riding from a 6 week suspension.

Hugh Bowman produces a mind-boggling speed on Farnan 1st Up in the Run To The Rose.

The NSW Stewards give Bowman a 20 day suspension on a handling charge, stunning just about everyone for its severity, and the fact he got suspended.

And just to cap it off, Aquis Park announce Farnan as their slot choice for The Everest, the most questionable use of $600,000 since GWS re-signed Leon Cameron.

Fair dinkum, they should just run Farnan where he’s suited, like the 800m of Kilcoy, the Moonee Valley of the north.

Of course, today’s highlight was watching Mugatoo lug 59kg, lob midfield and still smack the field in the Newcastle Gold Cup, but Saturday is a dual-pronged GROUP 1 ATTACK.

The Sir Rupert Clarke Stakes at Caulfield, which will apparently be the 30th anniversary of Damien Oliver’s first Group 1 win, and the George Main at Randwick, formerly known as the Colgate Optic White Stakes.

Verry Elleegant – I. AM. VERRY. KEEN.

In fact, that Randwick card looks so good that I’d argue The Shorts looks a more exciting race than a WFA Group 1.

Next weekend is gonna be bloody weird without the AFL Grand Final – Usually it’s Moir Stakes on Friday night, then the AFL Grand Final on Saturday afternoon, followed by the NRL Prelim in the evening, then the Sunday Underwood meeting.


Hungry Heart (No.3, Barrier 3) in The Tea Rose at Randwick, 2pm AEST

1400m Group 2 3YO Fillies

Trainer: Chris Waller, Hoop: James McDonald, 56kg

I AM NAILING MY COLOURS TO THE MAST AGAIN.

HUNGRY HEART WILL DRY LICK DAME GISELE AT THE 1400M.

AND IF SHE CAN’T….

I’ll probably just move on to the next race.


The “Hey Look, It’s Not Melbourne Or Sydney” Tip


Garner (No.5, Barrier 7) in Race 8 at Morphetville, 4:35pm ACST

1100m Listed Quality W.H. Wylie Handicap

Trainer: Gordon Richards, Hoop: Stubby Holder, 54kg

Stuff the horse for a moment, how about we sit through Garner’s namesake tearing Australia’s top order a new one.

Joel Garner, STILL the highest-rated One Day International bowler in history.

However that may not mean much here, because he’s probably not even in the Top 5 horses in South Australia.

I missed on the boat on backing the last Gordon Richards sprinter beginning with G, so I’ll have to settle for the Big Bird thundering in from the Cathedral End in the Morphetville feature.

The four-legged Garner contested the Group 3 The Heath last month at Caulfield, and he was never really looking like the winner 1st Up with some dodgy luck on the rail, but his last 200m was a sign of promise, picking up well and running 5th to Diamond Effort by only 0.7L, and you could make the argument that with better luck, he runs Top 3.

Can win, should win, probably won’t win if Ef Troop pulls his finger out and lives up to the trial form.


Lyre (No.6, Barrier 3) in the How Now Stakes at Caulfield, 5:25pm AEST

1200m Group 3 Mares SW

Trainer: Anthony & Sam Freedman, Hoop: Luke Currie, 55kg

Another horse coming out of The Heath is one-time Blue Diamond winner Lyre, apparently the 4-legged version of the Lyrebird, as seen on the 10-cent coin, and the logo of the Betoota Advocate.

From Science

Much like Garner, Lyre was 1st up in The Heath 3 weeks ago, and her run was just as good, finishing on strong to run 2nd to Diamond Effort by a quarter of a length, which does mean she still hasn’t won since that Blue Diamond win in February 2019, although I would point out she’s racked up multiple Group 1 & Group 2 placings, including the Sangster and Goodwood back in May.

Another apparent huge tick – Despite being the highest rated mare in the race at 104 (The only horse above 100), the Godolphin mare gets in at 55kg under the set weights & penalties, compared to a horse like Spanish Whisper, who rates a 99 and gets 58kg.

It’s also nice to see Luke Currie back riding again – He missed 6 months after fracturing his neck and ribs in a fall at Moonee Valley in February, and finally returned to the winners circle with Pretty Brazen in the Let’s Elope last weekend.

Lyre looks well-placed by the Freedman family, and I imagine she’ll be carrying the hopes of a nation, on top of the 55kg impost, to round out the day.

So I completely expect her to sink.


Piss Poor Perth Punting


So here’s a quick look at how the Melbourne Spring is going for the visiting WA horses:

Regal Power caught a lung infection and is out for the Spring, Showmanship hurt his tendon and is out for the Spring, Gatting was humanely euthanised after the Makybe Diva, Superstorm is starting the Rupert Clarke from the train line, Perfect Jewel has gone okay, Windstorm is plodding along, and Arcadia Queen had injury concerns but appears to be back on track.

Let’s just hope to Jehovah that Fabergino doesn’t get speared through a rail in the Moir next Friday.

Still, I don’t think anyone told Bet365 about what happened to Gatting….


Celebrity Queen (No.7, Barrier 1) in Race 7 at Belmont, 3:55pm AWST

1200m Nicopolis Stakes (78+ Rating)

Trainers: Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: Chris Parnham, 54kg

Yageddit?

It’s a Queen who is a celebrity!

Ugh, okay, moving on.

Apparently the Nicopolis Stakes is the feature at Belmont, which should tell you everything about what a shitty card it is, and like most people with very limited understanding of Perth racing outside of the Cerise and White, I’m backing a horse in the Cerise and White.

Celebrity Queen was last sighted on a racecourse way back on Easter Saturday, when she got the textbook Pike In The Last ride and won very well, moving her to 4 wins from 7 starts, and comes back for this having just the one Lark Hill trial, which seemingly went very well.

She gets the relative featherweight, plus Barrier 1, and I can see her going well 1st Up, buutttt, this definitely isn’t a foregone conclusion, because Money Matters has won his last 2, both at the 1000m, former Chalk Eaters star Cliffs Of Comfort is 3/3 at the 1200m, and there’s Multiverse and Highland Beat lurking around, ready to pull the rug out.

Who am I kidding, this is going to be a laugh.


Crazy Colin’s Hucklebuck Tip Of The Day

Get dancing, floggos

E/W on Dirty Work (No.10, Barrier 5) in The Shorts at Randwick, 3:55pm AEST

1100m Group 2 SW+P

Trainer: Team Hawkes, Jockey: Tommy Berry, 55kg


How are yaaaaa friends, it’s CRAZY COLIN here, and let me tell you, my old mate Crazy Craig here in Bairnsdale has CRACKED THE SHITS after learning that his Lucky Lips weren’t needed for this week’s segment, because the Hucklebuck tip is ON A ROLL!

And Guess what, not only am I doing The Hucklebuck again this Saturday, I’ll be doing The Hucklebuck while I’m watching The Shorts!

WHO BETS THE SHORTS?

I BET THE SHORTS!

What a race it promises to be, with Everest spots on the line with just a month to go until the race, and with everyone focusing on Bivouac, Standout and Classique Legend, I think DIRTY WORK can put in a bit of dirty work.

Think about it – In that Concorde a fortnight ago, when everyone focused on Nature Strip and Gytrash, he put in a superb run home and finished 3rd, 2L off the Croweater (Who missed the track record by a bee’s dick), and only 0.5L off the mighty Nature Strip!

And, further to it, all 4 of Dirtty Work’s wins have come at the 1100m, which fills me with unwarranted confidence he can produce a career best in a Group 2!

Anyway, what do I care if he loses, I’m getting sacked next week!

And this time, I MEAN IT!

I’m Crazy Colin, NOT CRAZY CRAIG!


One last note from JT – Very sad to hear that the great Pat Smullen passed away…. he was only 43 as well.

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