Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 26th September


Max Walker on the commentary as well

Bloody hell, imagine if this was actually AFL Grand Final weekend.

You’ve got Melbourne with an apparent temperature of 2.9 degrees Celsius at 3:30 in the afternoon, and tomorrow is forecast for showers and a top of 13.

As if the poor old Mexicans haven’t suffered enough through lockdown.

Also, for some reason, the voices in my head told me the Underwood Stakes meeting was on the usual Sunday, so that it would be the Moir tonight, the Golden Rose tomorrow, and then Caulfield would anchor the weekend.

Then I look up and see it’s on same-old Saturday, alongside the Golden Rose meeting, because obviously the AFL have cleared out from the prime real estate of the last Saturday in September.

Instead, the Ansett Classic at Mornington, aka The Toilet, is the feature on Sunday.


Anyway, it looks like a decent weekend, obviously headlined by the two Group 1 races, and out in the other places in Australia, there’s the Longreach Cup, the Coleraine Cup, and Toowoomba gets it’s big day with the Cup and the Weetwood Handicap.

There’s also some renamed Listed race in Perth…. who it’s been named for will SHOCK you!

She’s Ideel (No.14, Barrier 9) in Race 3 at Rosehill, 1:40pm AEST

1900m Benchmark 88 Ranvet Handicap

Trainer: Bjorn Baker, Hoop: Kerrin McEvoy, 53.5kg

Bajorn Borg, Warwick Farm trainer and rival of John McEnroe

Here’s an old Blind Melon song for She’s Ideel:



In Race 3, She’s Ideel is 3rd Up.

The mare has 2 wins from as many starts 3rd Up.

She also drops 4.5kg on last start to run at 53.5kg tackling the 1900m first time, and with that relative light weight, I think she can give a bit of cheek to some of these deadset camels in horses’ clothing.

So now that I’ve said that, she won’t, so I apologise in advance.

Rothfire (No.1, Barrier 8) in The Golden Rose at Rosehill, 4:10pm AEST

1400m 3YO SW Group 1

Trainer: Rob Heathcote, Hoop: Gentleman Jim Byrne 56.5kg

Many moons ago I tried making a dodgy photoshop for Rothfire, using the old Rothmans Racing logo from the days of Mick Doohan and Wayne Gardner plugging away on NSR-500 Hondas.

It has the same quality as the rest of this blog, so it’s perfect to use now:

You can’t beat the good old shitty Times New Roman

Of course, the Golden Rose is the traditional pinnacle of the Rosehill Spring Carnival (If you consider the Golden Eeagle as more than a McRace), and last year, I managed to pluck out Yes Yes Yes in last year’s Golden Rose, and promptly watched him go down in a driving finish to Bivouac.

I jumped off him next start, and shock horror, he won an Everest.

Similar story this year with Behemoth after he won the Spring Stakes a few weeks back.

I haven’t touched him since and he’s won 2 Group 1s.

Anyway, it’s only a field of 9 for this year’s race, and hilariously, there’s no fillies, and the only gelding in the race is none other than Rothfire.

8 colts against 1 gelding.

And I’d still back the lone gelding to kick all of their arses.

Here’s a random gag about Russian Camelot

This may or not be my selection for The Heath, because I sure as hell can’t tip Instant Celebrity.

Piss Poor Perth Punting

Well, it’s only been 4 months, but tomorrow is the last Saturday Belmont meeting of the year – There will be one this Monday as part of the usual public holiday, but after this, it’s off to Kalgoorlie for the Cup, then Ascot starts on October 10.

Anyway, this is a good weekend – Perth Racing renamed the traditional Birthday Stakes in honour of another great galloping Sandgroper….


Amazing to think Bart was a 9-start maiden in his time with Vaughn Sigley…. he ended up winning 6 Group 1s, if you don’t mind umpire.

Vital Silver (No.1, Barrier 4) in Race 8 at Belmont, 4:45pm AWST

1200m Listed SW Black Heart Bart Stakes

Trainers: Dan & Ben Pearce, Hoop: Peter Hall, 58.5kg

Well, what do you know, I haven’t even bothered venturing out from beyond ‘The Bart’, so on that note, let’s take a look at The Bart.

If you had a squiz at Best Bets with old Tony Kneebone, this would be classic kind of race to be described as ‘Very competitive’ because it looks very competitive.

12-horse field with the likes of Vital Silver, Red Can Man, Free Trade, Massimo, Nerodio, Stageman and Cup Night, who are all perfectly capable of winning.

That said, I’m going with the Grey with the Group 1 pedigree, and that’s Vital Silver.

He had to lug 62kg 1st Up in a Benchmark 78, and he never ever settled down over the 1000m, but was still good enough to run 3rd behind that driving finish between Jericho Missile and Money Matters.

Anyway, he’s 2nd Up now, where he clearly does his bets work with 3 wins and 2 placings from 5 starts, and, despite rating as a 111, a full 9 points better than anyone, he only carries 58.5 at the set weights.

Of course, I sprouted the same bullshit about Lyre last weekend, and look at how that went.

Also is a chance to break another Chalk Eaters duck, because I have deadset never managed to catch Peter Hall.

It’s like the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote.

Meep Meep!

Crazy Craig’s Lucky Lips Tip Of The Day

Buffalo River (No.5, Barrier 9) in Race 5 at Caulfield, 3:10pm AEST

1400m Here For The Horses Handicap

Trainer: Mike Moroney, Jockey: Damien Oliver, 59kg

How are ya going friends, it’s Crazy Craig, the BOY FROM BAIRNSDALE, back from my two week sabbatical, and I reckon I’m going to rack up more comebacks than Johnny Farnham at the rate I’m getting shipped out of this bloody segment.

I still haven’t read ONE EDITION, because I think JT is a wanker!

Anyway, I heard Crazy Colin managed to bag home a winner while he was doing The Hucklebuck, so much so that I heard that bloody record blaring on repeat from his loungeroom ALL WEEKEND, so it appears I’m going have to outdo him AGAIN!

In my first tip back from a spell, I’ve glossed up the Lucky Lips, and I’m hopping in the boat and floating down the BUFFALO RIVER.

Buffalo River, stolen from Africa, brought to America, then to The Heath where he was doing nothing on arrival.

Now, you may be wondering, why on earth would Crazy Craig even dare go against a decent horse like Windstorm?

Well, all I can say is.


Buffalo River – Because I’m not going up Shit Creek this week!

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaazy Craig!

Also, I’d bring up another sad passing that’s more pertinent to Australian racing.

Bob Ingham, known to some as ‘That chicken guy’, and also the person who, alongside brother Jack, bred and raced some deadset legends like Octagonal and Lonhro in those striking cerise silks.

Thank you Bob, for giving us moments like this:

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