Based on a series of plausible events in a small Victorian town

JT’s Golden Slipper Pick: STAY INSIDE for the weather-related omen bet

So here we go for take two of Golden Slipper Day, now joined by the glorious Bendigo Golden Mile, and I’ll be honest, I was expecting Crazy Colin would be firing in another crap tip from the small Victorian hamlet of Bairnsdale, but this past Monday, out of the blue it should be said, Colin sent me an email saying that our estranged acquaintance Crazy Craig had finally reconnected his landline after weeks of telling everyone to piss off, as The Boy From Bairnsdale tends to do with his mental state, so endeavoring to find out, I asked Craig if he was sending me a tip.

Craig’s reply was that he wasn’t send me a tip…

HE WAS SENDING TWO.

So ahead of another Super Saturday to end March, here’s the Boy From Bairnsdale with his PICKS of The Day, to the tune of the one and only LUCKY LIPS.

Annavisto (No.8, Barrier 8) in the Bendigo Guineas at Bendigo (MR7), 4:10pm AEDT

1400m Listed 3YO SW+P

Trainers: Mick Price & Michael Kent Jnr, Jockey: Jamie Kah, 56kg

Hello hello again folks, it’s Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, BACK AT LAST after a few weeks disconnected from the world, and some of you may be wondering why I disconnected my landline and told everyone from the pokies to the horses to Crazy Colin, aka THE BEER THIEF, to PISS OFF.

Well, the short answer is, I’M CRAZY!

Anyway knackers, to try and make it up to youse, I’ve decided that I’m not sending a tip in, I’M SENDING TWO, so I’ll kick it off locally with the major Victorian meeting of the day in the goldfields of Bendigo, where I like the favourite in the Guineas, Annavisto.

She won 1st Up despite doing plenty wrong at Pakenham, then she bloody well cost herself another win last time out at Headquarters three weeks back, getting caught at the back in a race that went at a snail’s pace, then she was throwing her head around like a drunk bugger at a Saturday night disco, then she got held up all the way to the 300m, and despite all those negatives, she eventually got her mind on the job and missed the winner Cumberbatch by a nose!

Cost me $200, you CRAB!

Regardless, the talent is clearly there, Jamie Kah takes over from D.Oliver, and I would think that with a more genuine tempo she’ll be back in the finish again, and something else I’ve noticed is that Annavisto was foaled on the 29th of September 2017, the day before Richmond broke their 37-year premiership drought, a fact I’m bringing up because the second favourite in this race is Mozzie Monster, who wears the fabled Tigers colours… YELLOW AND BLACK!

It’s a good thing Annavisto doesn’t wear blue & white hoops, otherwise I wouldn’t be making her one my two LUCKY LIPS PICKS OF THE DAY.

No.8 Barrier 8 – At the Waterford TAB we call that THE GABBY SPECIAL.

Tricky Gal (No.2, Barrier 6) E/W in the Birthday Card Stakes at Rosehill (SR9), 5:50pm AEDT

1200m Group 3 Fillies & Mares Quality

Trainer: Matthew Smith, Jockey: James McDonald, 58kg

Ah, The Birthday Card Stakes, named after the thing that helped kill off John Hewson’s dreams of becoming Prime Minister in one fateful TV interview with Mike Willesee 6 weeks before the ’93 Election.

Wait a minute, that was a Birthday CAKE…. Apparently Birthday Card was a Golden Slipper winner!

Well knackers, you don’t need your old mate Crazy Craig to remind you that Golden Slipper Day is one of the biggest days of the Australian racing calendar, let alone the autumn, and we’ll find out which juvenile has a heart as big as a pea, like Clan O’Sullivan against Burst in 1992!

With 5 Group 1s on the card, I’m going to say STUFF YOU to the elites and go to the last on the card, where I’ll stick my stubby neck out and go for a bit of value with TRICKY GAL!

If you look at her form, the big standout will be the big fat 0 from her last run in the Coolmore Classic, and I’ve got 3 simple words to describe it.

TOTAL. FORGET. RUN.

She drew Barrier 11 and got marooned 3-wide no cover the entire way in what was a fast-run race, and it told in the end as Glen Boss had to ease her down after racing erratically!

But prior to that, she ran 2nd in both the Guy Walter Stakes to Krone and the Triscay Stakes to Tailleur – Krone is now a Group 1 winner in that Coolmore, and Tailleur is currently favourite for the Group 1 Galaxy tomorrow, which suggests that the form is there, and I should point out, this is only a Group 3!

In addition, she’s got the far better Barrier of 6, James McDonald takes the reins, and she definitely ticks the wet track boxes, with 2 wins and 3 placings from 5 Soft track runs, and 1 win and 2 placings on the Heavy, which suggests the boggy conditions won’t phase her!

Now, normally this is where some little tacker comes in and reminds me that Tricky Gal is giving at least 3 kilos to the talented field on a Soft track, but I would add – I DON’T GIVE A CRAP, AND MOST OF THEM ARE FRAUDS!

Emanate, give me a spell, Written Beauty, welcome to the big leagues after your crap run in the Challenge, Every Rose has it’s THORN, and Wandabaa, it sounds like some of German sheep!

So there you go I’m happy to play the odds and say that Tricky Gal is my SECOND Pick of the Day.

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAAAAZY CRAIG!