Based on a series of plausible events in a small Victorian town

Well friends, July is here, 98% of the country is locked down, except the free state of Victoria, and it seems the only thing of interest for the final month of the racing season is seeing if/when Jamie Kah can ride the 3 winners required to cross the landmark 100 wins for the Melbourne metro season, which would be the first time anyone’s ever ridden a century of winners in the frozen cultural capital of Australia, and the fact that a female jockey would achieve such a unique milestone is a great moment for punters who like to point out that a woman is riding against men.

Did you know Jamie Kah is a female who just happens to be a jockey?

Because I didn’t.

For the record Brett Prebble has the record of 99.5 wins back in 1999/00, which is technically 100 wins in Brett’s eyes, because that dead heat got paid as a winner, which would mean he crossed the line a winner a grand total of 100 times….

FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW.

The other highlight of the day from a feature race perspective is the twilight Sunshine Coast meeting at Corbould Park, featuring the Group 3 Winx Guineas, formerly known as the Sunshine Coast Guineas, the very race that kicked off the Winx legend in 2015 when she came from last to win, a piece of footage that will stand the test of time.

Now, enough of my spiel, here’s Crazy Colin to have you questioning your sanity, and given Sunday will be the 4th of July, Colin has asked me to provide something from a ‘Seppo’ for this week’s opening hymn…

So here’s Willie Nelson again, performing the original version of Crazy!

Double Chance (No.11, Barrier 9) E/W in Race 5 at Flemington, 2:15pm AEST

1400m 3YO Fillies MSS Security Rivette Series Final

Trainer: Levi Kavanagh, Jockey: Jamie Kah, 54kg

Wassup dudes and dudettes, it’s Crazy Colin, Crazy by association to Crazy Craig, and did you notice I wrote WASSUP like a Californian?

I’m not trying to be hip to be square like Huey Lewis, I’m just trying to piss off Crazy Craig!

As for what’s going on here in BAIRNSDALE, well, you couldn’t believe that after the amount of stool that had hit the fan over the last year, that Victoria would be happily out of lockdown while the other cocky pissant states wallow their way through lockdowns!

And before you tell me “But Colin, South Australia isn’t in lockdown!”, I’ll simply retort that living in South Australia is as good as being permanently locked down!

So on the horses front, I’m off to Headquarters this Saturday, and I could’ve backed Dice Roll again in the Winter Championship Final, but he’s now too short for my insane liking, so I figured I’d go a bit more open and inevitably lose my money by backing the filly DOUBLE CHANCE!

Yes, you can get a Double Chance if you finish Top 4 in the footy, or if you’re Jesus copping a pasting from the Romans, but you don’t get it for being a crap punter!

Now, Double Chance goes into this Rivette Series Final in solid form, having broken her maiden at Geelong on June 6, followed by jumping straight into a BM70 and finished 3rd by a length to So Far Away, who goes into this race having won her last 2 starts, and there’s definitely upside for Levi Kavanagh’s filly, because this will only be her fifth start!

It is a fair jump in class, and even your old mate Colin will admit are some horses in this who would be looked at no fewer than 8 times before anyone noticed Double Chance, but she does drop 2kg on the runner-up performance, and she gets a very handy unwritten gear change in JAMIE KAH FIRST TIME!

Can it work here?

I bloody well hope so, because she’s only got one chance on DOUBLE CHANCE!

I’m Pretty (No.2, Barrier 3) in Race 9 at Belmont, 4:40pm AWST (6:40)

1600m 65+ Rating Crown Towers Handicap

Trainer: Adam Durrant, Jockey: William Pike, 58.5kg

Bugger everything else going on until the lucky last race of the day on BELMONT OAKS Day, at that place next door to BURSWOOD, because I’m excited by one particular runner, for one simple reason…

I’m Pretty, A horse named after me!

Crazy, I know!

The ghostly grey I’m Pretty, trained by soon to be Perth metro premiership winning trainer Adam Durrant, is low altitude flying right now, winning both 1st Up and 2nd Up in Westspeed Platinum races, despite having never won 1st Up or 2nd Up before, and while carrying 59 and 60 kilos respectively, AND giving the leaders a start both times from tricky barriers, which goes to show those wins weren’t walks in the park!

Speaking of which, Crazy Craig did that once and decided to throw his phone in the Mitchell River!

Another key note is that Belmont is turning into a classic case of horses for courses with I’m Pretty, because that was her 4th win from 6 goes at the track, and this time around she drops 1.5kg on the arse-kicking she dished out a fortnight ago, William The Wizard stays aboard, and that barnstorming finish suggests she’ll go alright in her first attempt at the mile at start 24!

Cutting the fat, it’s tough looking past the favourite, even though Tiff Has Spoken did win last start and there’s still a host of each-way hopes, and I’m hopeful that with even luck, I’m Pretty will live up to her name and look good, and hopefully I’ve found the right runner to snap my shithouse run with the Pick of the Day, so on that note…

I’M PRETTY is the PICK OF THE DAY.

So knackers, that’s all from me, enjoy your Saturday as best you can, especially if you’re in lockdown twiddling your thumbs for the next few days!