Posting thanks to a medical exemption from the Australian Government

Alright weirdos, as I prepare my application to assume the CEO position of Racing Victoria so I can run them into the earth, it’s the almighty piss up of colour that is the Magic Millions weekend on the Gold Coast, and I think they call it the Magic Millions because millions of dollars magically disappear buying hundreds of yearlings that mostly end up being shithouse.

Still, there are plenty of Magic Millions success stories that were bought at reasonable prices, and back on Wednesday I visited a winery near Margaret River that was the inspiration for the name of one of the great Magic Millions purchases back in 2010:

That is a true story – The great Pierro, one of the greatest 2-year-olds to ever race in this country, was named after the winery just outside of Margaret River, because Mr Kolivos just happened to be drinking a bottle of Pierro when he bought him as a yearling.

Still, I don’t think we’ll be seeing any yearlings named Vasse Felix this year.

So with that out of the way, it’s on to Crazy Crazy Cranky Craig, who has apparently obtained what must be his 43rd phone in the last 2 years after he threw the 42nd phone into the Mitchell River just after the New Year started, so let’s see what our estranged friend has in store with his Picks of the Day, and for this week’s theme music, well, this week was technically 50 years since America released A Horse With No Name, so here it is!

Value Pick: Beau Rossa (No.3, Barrier 16) in Race 6 at the Gold Coast (OR6), 3:15pm AEST

1400m Restricted Listed Magic Millions Cup

Trainer: Will Clarken, Jockey: Todd Pannell, 58.5kg

Hello hello hello everyone it’s Crazy Craig, TBFB, back in business after I had a good week away from Crazy Colin, and wouldn’t you believe it, nobody gave me a phone call for a whole week!

It was bloody beautiful!

So now that I’ve got myself a brand spankin’, ridgy didge new Nokia, it’s time to restart the Picks of the Day, and as I seem to remember, I was hotter than Onslow on a Summer’s day, with my Value Pick and my Pick of the Day BOTH winning, and my musical pick ran a good 2nd!

Let’s see if we can keep this run going, and naturally being Magic Millions Day at the Gold Coast I’ve got to have a go at something during the say, and after 5 minutes of perusing, I’ve settled on the quaddie-opening Magic Millions Cup to make my Value pick, and I’ve gone for Beau Rossa, the South Australian from South Australia!

To be honest, I’m surprised they even let people out of South Australia these days…. Nothing to do with the virus, just so none of us have to listen to their freaky Germanic accents!

So in a fairly open race, Beau Rossa is 2nd Up in Queensland, having raced in the Listed Favelon at Doomben back on Boxing Day, where he ran a good honest 4th with the top weight 60kg after settling in the old trotting one out one back position, which was probably just a run to get him acquainted with running on a clockwise track as they do in the rugby states.

Obviously drawing Barrier 16 would be a major red flag for anyone with a brain, but mine stopped working years ago, so I’m thinking he’ll be perfectly fine with a bit of luck, and in a race where the entire field has a chance of winning, another thing that Beau Rossa has in his favour is that he does his best work 2nd Up, with a record of 2 wins and a 2nd placing from 3 attempts!

Of course, Beau Rossa could easily have won a Group 1 this season, given he ran 2nd to Behemoth in the Memsie Stakes at Caulfield back in August, and I reckon if Will Clarken and Todd Pannell can get him to run anywhere close to that, then he’s a good chance of finishing in the Top 3, because he’s my VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

Pick Of The Day: Miss Conteki (No.6, Barrier 8) in Race 9 at Ascot, 5:55pm AWST

1100m Listed Miss Andretti Stakes

Trainer: Simon Miller, Jockey: Chris Parnham, 55kg

We’ll go from the Gold Coast to the West Coast for my Pick of the Day, and I’m still unsure why they’re calling it Ascot, when the racecourse is in Belmont!

Yes, I’ve mentioned that before, but believe you me, I will whinge about it to the grave, and I’ll keep letting my mate Mr Alfonse know about it every time I speak to him on the phone, even though I can’t understand his bloody thick Spanish accent!

Que pasa, amigo!

However, one thing I understood Mr Alfonse say when we spoke on the phone last night is that he told me is to have a look at the feature race of the day, the Miss Andretti Stakes, named after one of the fastest horses of the modern era, and fun fact, a full 15 years after she won the King’s Stand Stakes, Miss Andretti still has the 1000m track record at Royal Ascot!

How crazy is that, and if my record is correct, she held 5 track records simultaneously, in both hemispheres!

A freakishly quick mare, and she’s still got the Caulfield 1200m record as well!

Hopefully these speed freaks can do their best Miss Andretti, and in what looks like a straight up fight between Clairvoyance and Miss Conteki, and with Clairvoyance 1st Up with the blinkers on off the back of a few niggling injures, I’ve sided with the lover of a good old sex-filled Conteki Tour, off the back of her amazing win in the Summer Scorcher a fortnight ago, when she was 5 lengths off the lead at the 200 metres and stormed home to take an unbelievable win!

That made it 4 wins from 5 runs 1st Up, and her 2nd Up form is just as solid, with 2 wins from 3 attempts, and if she can show a turn of foot anywhere near as good as that Summer Scorcher run, then she’ll be going mighty close to a win, giving several thousand people a heart attack just before dinner in the West!

So there you go, Miss Conteki, my PICK OF THE DAY.

Random Big Bopper Pick: The Bopper (No.2, Barrier 5) in Race 7 at Rosehill (SR7), 3:55pm AEDT

1100m BM88 Schweppes Handicap

Trainer: Kris Lees, Jockey: Josh Parr, 58.5kg

I know what the Big Bopper didn’t like… getting on a plane with Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens.

Helloooooo, baaaaaaby!
Yeah, this is the Big Bopper speakin’
Ha ha ha ha ha, oh you sweet thing!
Do I WHAT?
Will I WHAT?
Oh baby, you know what I like!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!