Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright friends, strangers, weirdos and people wanting to get after me, Hey Hey It’s Almost Saturday, and this week William Pike made his mark on Wyong with one minor placing, and we marked the sudden end to the career of the great Kiwi raider Probabeel, who came off the canvas to win the Bellmaine at Caulfield on Saturday, but it turned out she’d suffered a suspensory ligament injury in the process, and instead of setting her on a comeback path, the Lindsay family at Cambridge Stud decided she was simply too valuable and gave her a well-earned retirement after a career with 4 Group 1 victories, a New Zealand Horse of the Year title, and the only horse in history to win both the 2YO and 3YO Karaka Million titles.

As someone who backed her plenty of times for a fair bit of joy, I say bravo, thank you, and well done to Jamie Richards and his team.

Looking forward, and what a Saturday this is, with the Group 1 Black Caviar Lightning up the Flemington straight, and apparently this year is the best Lightning field since the Black Flash retired, with Nature Strip, Eduardo, Masked Crusader, 2020 winner Gytrash and Home Affairs fighting it out, and odd fact, this year is 30 years since Schillaci won the race as a 3-year-old in just his fourth start, and he’d go on to win both the Oakleigh and the Newmark to complete the Autumn sprinting treble:

The other big event of the day is the Rosehill card, with the Group 2 Hobartville Stakes featuring Anamoe trying to progress 2nd Up, and the Group 2 Silver Slipper for the juveniles on the path to the Golden Slipper, and thus far in this very brief 2-year-old season, the fillies have had the edge on the colts and geldings, and that’s probably not going to change this week, although it is 2-year-old racing, so anything’s possible.

Now, enough of my crap, here’s something even worse, because Crazy Craig let me know he’s pressed for time in Bairnsdale this weekend, so instead he’s looked for musical sounding horse names like a complete mug would do, so here are his choices, set to the sounds of Cliff Richard talking about a feature of his face, because he’s got Lucky Lips!

The O’Jays Pick: Ojai (No.11, Barrier 6) E/W in the Silver Slipper Stakes at Rosehill (SR6), 12:25pm AEDT

1100m 2YO Group 2

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Tim Clark, 54.5kg

Hello hello hello everyone, it’s Crazy Craig, the Boy From Bairnsdale, and this week I just had to let you all know that I haven’t got the time to put up a full inane selection guide, because as you all know, I’m not all there, and I never have been!

Nah, in all seriousness, I’ll be out of town this week, roaming around the Macedon Ranges with Crazy Colin, looking for some of the phones I’ve thrown out over the years, so I’ve decided to put together a couple of picks based on horses that sound like songs or artists I love!

So, first up for what would be the Value selection of the day is in the Silver Slipper, and people tell me not to bet on 2-year-olds, but I usually tell them to piss off and go and suck on a lemon, and let me tell you, I like a horse that sounds like R&B legends The O’Jays….

OJAI!

I was going to join a Love Train to Shepparton last year to see my mate….

I decided not to go, because I’m sure as hell not sitting on a train to go to bloody Shepparton!

The Killers Pick: Mr Brightside (No.8, Barrier 10) in Race 8 at Flemington (MR8), 5:05pm AEDT

1400m The Elms Handicap

Trainers: Ben & JD Hayes, Jockey: Craig Williams, 56.5kg

Come on knackers, you think I’d miss this!

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes, ’cause I’m Mr. Brightside!

David Bowie Pick: My Baby Blue Jean (No.8, Barrier 5) in Race 4 at Ascot (PR4), 2:36pm AWST (5:36 AEDT)

1100m Happy Birthday Fergo Handicap (Graduation 60+ Rating)

Trainer: Adam Durrant, Jockey: Clint Johnston-Porter, 55.5kg

Could be Neil Diamond, could be David Bowie…..

In fact, I’ll stretch it and say it is Neil Diamond, just watch me!

Money talks,
But it can’t sing and dance
And it can’t walk.
And long as I can have you
Here with me, I’d much rather be
Forever in Baby Blue Jean!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!