Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Hello friends, strangers, weirdos and people who want to throw a brick at me, you may have been following the story of Shane Warne’s horse Sacred Oath, who jumped $1.30 in Race 2 at Ipswich on Wednesday, only to lose the jockey Ryan Maloney when the horse was speared into the running rail by a horse that wasn’t fully clear of them, although thankfully they’re both relatively unscathed.

What you don’t you know is on debut at Doomben (16th Feb), Sacred Oath ran 2nd to a horse with a very interesting name, considering the turn of events Warnie endured…..

A CALL FROM HEAVEN.

It was an OMEN.

So as we move on from that startling piece of information, Saturday marks the last Group 1 meeting of the Melbourne autumn, with the Australian Cup, which was run over a longer distance than the Melbourne Cup until 1962, and the Newmarket Handicap, which has the unique fact of being the only race besides the Melbourne Cup to have a maximum of 24 starters.

In fact, this year is 20 years since Old Comrade managed to upend his Sandgroper compatriot Northerly in the Australian Cup, denying Northerly a hat-trick of wins in the race:

The other side to the coin is the beginning of the Rosehill Carnival and the Group 1 Coolmore Classic for the mares, which means there’s just 1 week to go until the Golden Slipper, although based on this Summer in New South Wales they should rename the race to the Golden Floaties, because the horses are going to be charging through knee deep water just to win.

And the Adelaide Cup is on Monday…. not that anyone cares anymore.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and he batted at a solid 33% last week….

That is 33% the place, because his Value Pick ran 3rd.

Regardless, here is the Macedon madman, with his familiar theme tune of Lucky Lips by Cliff Richard!

Pick of the Day: Argentia (No.4, Barrier 6) in the Kewney Stakes at Flemington (MR5), 3pm AEDT

1600m Group 2 Set Weights TAB Kewney Stakes

Trainers: Anthony & Sam Freedman, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 56kg

Hello hello everyone, it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, still mourning the passing of Shane Keith Warne, the greatest Australian sporting larrikin since Walter Lindrum…

Both of them legends of their own sport, both of them loved a dart, a pie and a drink, and if anyone claims that isn’t true about Walter Lindrum, I’LL BLOODY WELL FIGHT YA!

Moving on from tragedies galore, we’re off to Flemington to find my Pick of the Day, and it’ll be the last Group 1 meeting in Melbourne until the end of August, so we’d better make it a good one, and hopefully I’ve pulled the right reign with a Frankel filly in the Kewney who sounds like something that Madonna sang in a film about Eva Peron….

DON’T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTIA!

I can tell that film is totally inaccurate….. Eva Peron didn’t speak a word of English, nor was she American!

Not that I’ll hold it against Madonna, because Argentia probably doesn’t speak English, but unlike the Material Girl, she can put in a good performance 3rd Up at headquarters, and coincidentally, this is Argentia’s first run at Flemington since she won on debut as a 2-year-old last June!

So as stated above, the Freedman filly comes into the race 3rd Up, after winning the Kevin Hayes 1st Up at Caulfield, then she ran 2nd to Lavish Girl in the Angus Armanasco a fortnight ago, chasing the leader all the way on a day when the track was very conducive to front runners!

Naturally, there’s plenty of fillies in this race who could be anything; Yearning comes in 2nd Up from the Armanasco, Arktika is unbeaten from 2 starts, Barb Raider won the Vanity, and there’s Lavish Girl trying to prove that Caulfield win wasn’t because of a shithouse leaders track!

Don’t cry for me Argentia, because we won’t cry for you if you win, although we probably will if you get rolled, because you’re my PICK OF THE DAY.

Value Pick: Benaud (No.14, Barrier 1) in Race 10 at Rosehill (SR10), 5:55pm AEDT

1900m BM78 Handicap

Trainer: John O’Shea, Jockey: Rachel King, 52.5kg

Straying back to the subject of deceased Australian leg spinners, my Value Pick for the day is none other than Benaud!

Yes, sired by Reliable Man out of a mare named Baggy Green….

Marvellous name, that!

Benaud comes into the last race on the Rosehill card at the odds of $8.50, off the back of a 2nd placing over the 1900m at boggy Cantebury, a race in which he rose from 1400 to the 1900 first time and had to chase the leader Zoumon, who controlled the speed in a middle of a downpour and was never a chance of being caught, but the important is Benaud NEVER GAVE UP!

That’s how you get by in life knackers – NEVER GIVE UP!

Because if you do, you’ll be like Clan O’Sullivan – HEART AS BIG AS A PEA.

So Benaud comes back for a rematch with Zoumon, who sits as the market elect, but I think the former Australian captain is going to be ready to rumble for a good run 3rd up, because he’s got the light weight 52.5kg, which is a 2.5kg advantage on Zoumon, he’s drawn to do absolutely no work from Barrier 1, so with a clean jump he’ll get the gun run, and if all goes well, he’ll run a game race!

He may not win, but he’ll be game!

So there you go, Benaud, my VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

Random Pilot Pick: Magic (No.3, Barrier 3) in the Pago Pago Stakes at Rosehill (SR3), 1:30pm AEDT

1200m Group 3 2YO Colts & Geldings

Trainers: Michael, Wayne & John Hawkes, Jockey: William Pike, 55.5kg

Oh, ho, ho, it’s MAGIC you know, never believe it’s not so!

It’s MAGIC, you know, never believe it’s not so!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!

Hang on Craig, did you pick a William Pike-ridden horse?