FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE VFL/AFL FINALS, no Melbourne-based team won a Final in Week One.

All 4 games this weekend featured a Melbourne-based team, and they went an imperfect 0 from 4.

Brisbane defeated Richmond by 2 points in an Elimination Final that featured 17 lead changes, one of the best Finals in living memory:

The Sydney Swans, formerly of South Melbourne, defeated Melbourne in the Qualifying Final at the MCG, in the most lopsided result of the weekend at 22 points:

Geelong, a satellite suburb of Melbourne, defeated Collingwood this afternoon/evening by 6 points in a (Brad) Close Qualifying Final that wasn’t decided until the last 80 seconds, as is the norm with Collingwood games this year:

And Fremantle, after scoring 4 behinds through a quarter and a half, came from 41 points down to defeat the Western Bulldogs by 13 points in the second Elimination Final:

A game so amazing you could make a meme out of it:

Once again, it’s all Dan Andrews’ fault.