Fun fact, this Festivus will mark 25 years since ‘The Strike’, the Seinfeld episode that popularised Festivus, first aired.

Now, on to the show… about nothing

Welcome newcomers, the tradition of Festivus begins, WITH THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES!

I’VE GOT ALOTTA PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE, NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT!

YOU, FIFA, MY SON TELLS ME YOUR WORLD CUP HOST SELECTION STINKS!

Quiet France, you’ll get yours in a minute.

FIFA, YOU COULDN’T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE…

I lost my train of thought.