Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

We have arrived at February, and there’s only 1 week to go until the return of Group 1 racing for the year with the CF Orr at Sandown, so it begs the question why I’ve even bothered asking Crazy Craig to make an appearance this week, but chances are Craig actually told me he couldn’t be arsed making an appearance, but his lunatic instincts kicked in and he spent the next half of the week telling people to go and get farked.

On the other hand, there’s semi decent racing all around the country, with the Eskimo Prince at Randwick, and every dog and their master will be watching Tom Marquand making our cowboy jockeys look stupid, while the heat in Perth has forced the Ascot races back to start at 2:28 and finish at 6:48…

By which time, the Heat will have truly set in at Optus Stadium for the Big Bash Final.

So without any further ado here’s Crazy Craig, and for goodness sake man, TRY AND FIND A WINNER, you Elvis loving nutter!

P(r)ick No.1: Zou Tiger (No.8, Barrier 7) in Race 8 at Randwick, 4:40pm AEDT

1200m Group 3 Eskimo Prince Stakes

Trainer: John O’Shea, Jockey: Tom ‘The Pom’ Marquand, 56kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, and this week Crazy Colin threw a brick at my back door after iz couldn’t find him a winner last Saturday!

How Crazy is that!

Anyway, after he went on swearing at me, I could only reply:

“Colin, you’re taking betting advice from a lunatic, what’s you expect you dickhead!”

So moving on from that threat on my life, it’s on to the Eskimo Prince, featuring the return of Aft Cabin, who would’ve shat in the Caulfield Guineas were it not for a bleed during a gallop, so understandably he’ll jump the favourite, but over in the red corner, John O’Shea will be blasting out Survivor’s iconic theme to Rocky III…

BECAUSE HE’S GOT THE EYE OF ZOU TIGER!

It’s the eye of Zou Tiger
It’s the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival!
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watching us all with the eyeeeeeee, of Zou Tiger!

P(r)ick No.2: Allmamoney (No.6, Barrier 5) in Race 7 at Ascot (PR7) 5:40pm AWST (8:40pm)

1600m 66+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Adam Durrant, Jockey: Clint Johnston-Porter, 55kg

On to the next selection based on some mail from my close contact Mr Alfonse, and in a match race between the favourites ridden by one W.Pike and Clint ‘The Hyphenatir’ Johnston-Porter, how much money am I going to lose backing the No.6?

ALLMAMONEY!

Allmamoney!
Get back
I’m alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack
Allmamoney!
It’s a hit
Don’t give me that do goody good bullllllshit!

Won 1st Up from last and was held up for most of the straight 2nd Up!

Luckless I tell you, luckless!

Crazy Each Way Pick: Field The Moment (No.8) E/W in Race 3 at Sandown, 1:45pm AEDT

1800m BM70 Robert Hunter

Trainer: Philip Stokes, Jockey: Zac Spain, 55kg

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!