Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, the rain in Sydney has stopped falling for 5 minutes, which must mean it’s time for another Saturday of racing, this being the last Saturday of April, the first major weekend of the Morphetville Carnival, highlighted by the Group 1 double of the Australasian Oaks and the Robert Sangster Stakes for the fillies and mares..

This year we’ll also see the first running of the Group 3 John Hawkes Stakes at Morphetville, the re-named D.C. McKay Stakes which is now named after the all-time great Hall of Fame trainer himself (And native South Australian), who started training at Strathalbyn way back in 1971, and within a year he trained Toltrice to the Thousand Guineas, Wakeful Stakes and VRC Oaks, and went on to even greater things, namely running 4 training setups in 4 different states simultaneously.

This also used to be the weekend for the Hawkesbury Carnival, but obviously Hawkesbury has been washed away at some point in the last year, so they’re just running a bunch of random Saturday benchmark races at Rosehill, while Caulfield hosts The Showdown, which means certain AFL journalists have finally achieved their dream of getting a Showdown to Melbourne, while Ascot and Eagle Farm host some random Listed races.

Fun fact, Chris Parnham has now ridden 23 winners in WA this month, and he’s still got 2 more days left.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and what a random run of form our favourite lunatic has been on over the last fortnight – No winners for weeks, then he pulls off 2 winners in consecutive weeks, including his first-ever protest victory!

What a great performance Craig, and you know how Kintyre got that dodgy protest upheld by the stewards… BECAUSE HE HAD A GOOD LUCK CHARM!

P(r)ick No.1: Extremely Lucky (No.9, Barrier 6) E/W in Race 4 at Morphetville (AR4), 1:47pm ACST

1100m Group 3 Quality John Hawkes Stakes

Trainers: Will Clarken & Niki O’Shea, Jockey: Jamie Kah, 54kg

Hello hello everybody, it’s Craaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and would you believe it, another PAIR OF WINNERS last week, and those $20 notes that became $50 notes are now $100 notes on the sidewalk!

Unbelievable scenes, as Bairnsdale’s happiness soars through the roof as the down on their luck are given their complimentary scratchies, and mothers with prams walk home with cash, all courtesy of CRAZY CRAIG, ESQUIRE.

Now, that was last week and we must move on to this week, with the big races in Adelaide kicking off with the Sangster and the Oaks, and to start off my prick this week, many years ago before I realised Elvis was superior, you’ll remember that I always requested Cliff Richard’s Lucky Lips after I picked a winner, which usually occurred once every 5 months…

After last week, it should be EXTREMELY LUCKY LIPS, but I can’t resist the chance to have a mention of luck in there!!

P(r)ick No.2: Iknowastar (No.10, Barrier 7) in Race 8 at Rosehill (SR7), 3:35pm AEST

1500m BM100 Vale Lonhro Handicap

Trainer: Bjorn Baker

Do I know a star?

Well, no, but I do know Crazy Colin!

That said, I do know a Starman, and his name is DAVID BOWIE!

Bjorn Baker trains it eh… well, let’s remember what Col Hodges tried calling him after he trained a winner at Bathurst:

Bjorn Borg, 5 Wimbledon titles, 6 French Open titles, 7 consecutive winners at Bathurst.

P(r)ick No.3: Rockin’ Rupert (No.2, Barrier 5) E/W in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:10pm AWST

1200m 60+ Rating National Pump and Energy Handicap

Trainers: Sean & Jake Casey, Jockey: Laqdar Ramoly, 58kg

He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and a-singing his song
All the little birds on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the Rupert go tweet, tweet, tweet

Rockin’ Rupert (tweet, tweet, tweet)
Rock, Rock, Rockin’ Rupert (tweet, tweedle-lee-dee)
Blow Rockin’ Rupert, ’cause we’re really gonna rock tonight!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!