Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well here we are, the first edition of the busiest month of the year, and last week Fremantle learned what every wise punter knows best…

NEVER GO THE EARLY CROW.

That’s very hard to do in the AFL, because the early crow plays in Adelaide.

Of course friends, we have another Super Saturday of Group 1 racing, with Group 1 races at Flemington (The Turnbull Stakes), plus the Bart Cummings to qualify another horse into the Melbourne Cup, although we have no idea if the Flemington meeting will go ahead with the torrential rain in Melbourne, and 2 Group 1 races at Randwick (The Flight and the feature Epsom Handicap), plus a boatload of Group races on the support card, and being the eve of the NRL Grand Final, this is the last Saturday before daylight savings kick in until April, and once again, why the hell do we still have daylight savings in this country.

It was designed to save coal during the wars, and the last time I checked, the last world war ended in 1945, and World War III is still a few months away.

Absolutely archaic.

Other than that, the Kalgoorlie Cup is on, the biggest country cup in Western Australia, the Murray Bridge Gold Cup in South Australia, and they’re also racing at a little town called MOORA… how do you like it, how do you like it!

Anyway, it’s on to Crazy Craig, and what scenes at Belmont as the resident madman took Pike In The Last while Western Australia descended into madness after Freo lost, and wouldn’t you know it, THE WIZARD RODE THE QUADDIE AND GOT 5 WINNERS IN ALL, WHAT AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION.

So on that note, to celebrate Newcastle’s appearance in the Grand Final, here’s Silverchair with a song for Crazy Craig!

P(r)ick No.1: Sir Delius (No.2, Barrier 9) in the Turnbull Stakes at Flemington (MR8), 4:25pm AEST

2000m SW+P Group 1

Trainers: Gai Waterhouse & Adrian Bott, Jockey: Craig Williams, 59kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Craaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and what a great weekend last weekend was, a great celebration of sport, a historic finish to the AFL Grand Final, and then along came THE WIZARD to thump home the last winner of the day at Belmont, AS I CALLED..

Still, I didn’t bloody well call him riding the quaddie!

So on that note, Flemington will be a watch as Melbourne cops a month’s worth of rain in a single day, which will test out the best drainage system for an Australian racecourse (Or so they tell me), and with the forecast still questionable I think the way to go is on the Heavy slop mudlarks, and one of them is the Cox Plate favourite himself, Sir Delius…

Forget about Tulloch Lodge, I think he was one of King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table!

Anyway, as I said it will be a day for the wet trackers with all this rain, and if that’s the case I’d want to be on the favourite with a Heavy record of 2 wins for 2 starts back in the United Kingdom…

Interestingly, 5 starts on Soft tracks for no wins, a 2nd and three 3rds!

DON’T DOWNGRADE THE BLOODY TRACK!

The Troggs Pick: Wild Things (No.4, Barrier 1) in Race 9 at Kalgoorlie (CR9), 5:20pm AWST

1760m Graduation 60+ Handicap

Trainer: Daniel Morton, Jockey: Lucy Fiore, 55.5kg

Wild Things, you make my heart sing
You make everything groovy, Wild Things
Wild Things, I think I love you
But I wanna know for sure
Come on and hold me tight
I love you

Not really, unless you win the damn race!

Crazy Crappy Group 1 Picks

Flight Stakes (SR6): Global Goal (No.3, Barrier 5)

Epsom Handicap (SR8): Lady Shenandoah (No.5, Barrier 16) E/W… wouldn’t pick her to win from that gate but great shot at a place, surely!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!