Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 5th September

For perfectly good reason, here’s Subzero and Graham Salisbury again

After 25 years of joy and being one of the brightest of bright spots in Australian racing, both Subbie and Graham have left us in the space of 2 months.

After my dear old Da joined them on Wednesday, I can comfortably say 2020 cannot piss off fast enough.

Trying to look forward, and the first Saturday of September is a big building block of a day for the Spring, featuring multiple Group 2s at Randwick, including the Furious, the Tramway and the feature Chelmsford, plus Nature Strip meeting Gytrash in the Concorde, while further south in Lockdown Land, it’s the McEwen Stakes followed by the feature Feehan Stakes, which still carries a golden ticket to the Cox Plate

If Surprise Baby, 1st Up on a Melbourne Cup campaign, can hold 3/1 favouritism, then I can say without any sort of hyperbole, that this may very well be the worst Feehan field ever assembled.

If you want a classic edition of the race, look no further than the first time Sunline met Northerly in 2001.

Hahahahahaha Lauda Air, talk about a blast from the past.


Astro Boy Toy (No.8, Barrier 6*) in Race 4 at Doomben, 1:33pm AEST SCRATCHED

1350m XXXX Dry One Metro Win Handicap

Trainers: Toby and Trent Edmonds, Hoop: Ben Thompson, 54kg

Time for another random visit to Brisbane, epicentre of Australian Rules Football, where it appears I’ve thrown my support behind a Japanese toy as it tries to knock down Run For Glory’s picket fence:

A prepubescent android boy with no shirt and short shorts.

I assume police forces around the world used Astro Boy to lure and capture psychopaths.

Under the care of the Edmonds family on the Glitter Strip, Astro Boy Toy won in mid-July at Eagle Farm despite racing wide with no cover, then he knocked off for 5 weeks, and in what was technically his 2nd Up run, he pumped away sitting on a hot speed and fought on for 3rd, having shifted out under pressure in the straight.

Apparently that run should give him the residual fitness to run out a good 1350m, although it remains to be seen how Benny Thompson will handle Barrier 6 (After a scratching), which is a bit of a sticky gate, in the sense that he’ll have to do a bit of work to get near the speed early on.

I’ve got absolutely no idea why I picked him instead of Run For Glory, whose form is even better, but what do I care, we’ll probably lose anyway.


Age Of Chivalry (No.3, Barrier 4) in Race 5 at Moonee Valley, 2:50pm AEST

1200m Listed Chandler Macleod Stakes

Trainers: Matthew Ellerton & Simon Zahra, Hoop: Damian Lane, 60kg

When I think of the Age Of Chivalry, I think of knights fighting an ogre in a fairytale.

It looks on paper like there’s only two horses who win Race 5 – The Group 1 performed Age Of Chivalry, who made a very nice return in the Regal Roller with a runner-up effort to a race-fit Viridine, and picket fence lover Showmanship, who now has 6 wins from 7 starts with a vintage Pike In The Last effort at Caulfield, although he ended up getting scratched when Moonee Valley turned into a quagmire a fortnight back, forcing the abandonment of the meeting.

As an unofficial member of the Church Of Pikey, I am somewhat glad that race didn’t go ahead, because Showmanship would’ve ended up a mile back on a day where backmarkers drowned badly.

Apparently what might decide the race is the pattern – Age Of Chivalry usually goes forward and gives himself every chance, while Showmanship will get back, and if Moonee Valley randomly turns into Death Valley again, the backmarkers are going to be pushing crap up hill to make up ground.

Giving up a head start to a Group 1 placegetter is brave, but, he is $2.05 and he has the class to handle the step up in grade, which makes me hope that whatever happens, racing will be the winner.


Hungry Heart (No.3, Barrier 3) in the Furious Stakes at Randwick, 3:10pm AEST

1200m Group 2 Set-Weights 3YO Fillies

Trainer: Chris Waller, Hoop: James McDonald, 56kg

Stuff the race, here’s The Boss!

Hungry Heart, daughter of the mighty Frankel, is the 2020/21 candidate for Spring Filly who gets a heap of smoke blown up her arse and eventually meets a couple better in a Group 1.

She hasn’t actually raced since the Golden Slipper, when she finished 5th in only her third start, importantly beating home Dame Giselle, who serves as the main danger in this race, having won the Silver Shadow (Say that while you’re impersonating Kenny Callender), thanks mainly to See You Soon getting scratched because she refused to load.

Just on that, the NSW Stewards sent See You Soon to the trials to prove her barrier manners were good enough to race again, and on Monday at Rosehill, she still refused to load, so the NSW Stewards said “See you later” to See You Soon, and retired her.

As shown in the trials where she barely did anything (She was in one of Nature Strip’s trials), one would think there’s a crapload of improvement to come in Hungry Heart, so I would think she’ll run a drum 1st up, or I’ll write a threatening letter to whom it may concern, and I DON’T CARE IF THEY DON’T READ IT.


Piss Poor Perth Punting Section

Unfortunately, Uncle Bob Peters’ Melbourne campaign, which has so far been mixed, has suffered a body blow with Group 1 & All-Star Mile winner Regal Power heading back to Perth due to a lung infection, which will put him out of the Perth Carnival as well, combined with Arcadia Queen’s foot abscess problem.

I think Bob and the Williams partnership needed some sort of fair excuse, because with the way Regal Power ran in the Lawrence and the Memsie, he performed like he’d been ridden from Perth to Melbourne.


Regal Counsel (No.6, Barrier 2) Each/Way in Race 7 at Belmont, 3:50pm AWST (5:50)

1400m Quayclean Handicap

Trainer: Peter Fernie, Hoop: Mitch Pateman, 58kg

Dennis Denuto – not so regal counsel to a Queen’s Counsel

A $4 each way tip.

THIS IS WHAT YOU’D CALL CHALK EATERS RISK TAKING!

Anyway, two points here – Regal Counsel finally gets the senior jockey, and he gets an inside gate.

I think he can do something.


Crazy Craig’s Lucky Lips Tip Of The Day

Powering Sir Cliff Richard into the ARIA Charts

Raison D’etre (No.9, Barrier 4) EACH/WAY in Race 3 at Randwick, 1:25pm AEST

1300m Quincy Seltzer Handicap (BM72 3&4YO)

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Rachel King, 52kg

Bonjour rascals, it’s Crazy Craig, the Boy and Spring is in the air, as the Cliff Richard-inspired streak reaches 3 WINS IN A ROW!

It’s unheard of knackers!

I thought my Lay Of The Day was going well, then I discover a Sir Cliff song that wasn’t about happy clapping, and I’m suddenly the best tipster in Bairnsdale!

Anyway, if you want to know what I did with my winnings from last week, I went and asked for a pair of $10 notes from the newsagent, and threw them on the ground.

The lady asked me “Why did you do that!”

I replied “Someone needs it more than me, because I’ll only punt it away!”

She probably thought I was crazy!

While you debate whether that story was true or not, I suppose I’m honourbound to carry on this Lucky Lips charade until we stop winning, so I figure Raison D’etre will bring me down in a tough 3rd race at Royal Randwick.

1st Up in a Canterbury Maiden, she utterly demolished the small field on Heavy ground, leading all the way in a quality performance that suggested there was plenty more to come!

BUT tomorrow, she’s back on top of the ground, obviously making a huge jump in class, but she’s GOT NO WEIGHT, she maps very well, so I guess you could say…

My Raison D’etre right now, is Raison D’etre!

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAAAZY CRAIG!

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