Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 5th December

It’s a long overdue Tavidance at Pakenham

Now that was a summer’s day and a half of Australian racing, and one that saw the Chalk Eaters hit back from the cold snap last week with 2 wins, a 2nd and a 3rd for Crazy Colin.

A personal pick of the highlights were Edison getting off the canvas in Race 5 at Rosehill to roll Enchanted Heart, after looking nothing short of dead for rites when he went 3/4 of a length behind, Hard Empire mowing down Jonker on the post in the George Moore at Doomben, Isotope getting truckloaded and winning by panels, the expat French horse Attorney said frog you to everyone in the Pakenham Cup for Matty Smith, but above them all…


From Aushorse Twitter

After 1002 days since his win as a 3-year-old in the 2018 Randwick Guineas, Kementari overcame years of repeated disappointments, including being a dud at stud and having his nuts lobbed off, and made Godolphin’s long & hard trip to Perth worth it.

Just retire him now Sheikh Mohammed, you’ll never get a better ending to Kementari’s troubled career than that.

And, on the subject of retirements, after a half-century in the game, the well-respected Pat Webster trained his last runner today at Newcastle, as Kosciusko went around in Race 6, but the favourite Leave Me Some just had to play the role of arsehole and deny Pat a dream farewell by nudging out Kosi, who just ran out of steam after a big two-horse scrap in the straight.

Perhaps it was fitting that in the same year that his beloved Happy Clapper bowed out from racing, so too did Pat Webster.

Tavidance in Race 5 at Pakenham – WINNER

Let me tell you, I was doing the Tavidance the whole of that last furlong watching Damien Oliver ride him home hands and heels, and I reckon if you go back through the replay, Olly had more looks over his shoulder checking how the others were running on than he actually used the whip.

On that note, it’s time for another singalong:

We can dance, we can dance
Everybody’s taking the chance

Well it’s Tavidance!
Yes it’s Tavidance!

Arrogance personified, the kind of win that leads to a cry of TOO EASY at the Waterford TAB, especially as he was wearing saddlecloth No.8.

Gone Bye in Race 6 at Rosehill – 2nd

From the Sky Racing Twitter

When I saw how hard Significance, Gone Bye and Trevelyan were travelling out in the lead down the back, I was thinking that every jockey was going to sing “Bye Bye Baby” to Tommy Sherry in the straight as Gone Bye weakened out and ran towards the rear.

It turned out they both had enough in hand to take every backmarker out of the race, including the favourite Accountability, in what was a rare blemish for James McDonald, which only ran on for 3rd late on.

That said, despite Gone Bye having the better of Accountability, it always looked like Significance had the better of Gone Bye, who showed his trademark grit by sticking on and making eventual winner earn it to the bitter end in another very honest run.

Ultimately, he was just ‘out-toughed’ by the winner, if there is such a thing.

Watch Me Dance in the Kingston Town Classic at Ascot – 8th

I took both the leading 3-year-olds each way in the market, so I did at least get something back for Dom To Shoot running on for 3rd at $3.20, while Watch Me Dance just ran out legs late after finding the jump to Group 1 level a little bit too much, but they weren’t the story of the race.

Truly Great ($18), the less fancied of Bob Peters’ two cerise and white runners after running midfield in the Railway, made full use of Barrier 8 to get a 3-wide trail into the race to power into the lead in the straight and win in an upset from the unlucky Williams stablemate Inspirational Girl, who simply got too far back in the run thanks to starting from Barrier 15, despite the Church Of Pike backing her into $2.05.

I reckon that plunge happened in all 4 quaddie legs in Perth today – Western Empire was well supported, then Celebrity Queen was into $1.75 before she got rolled by Kementari, Inspirational Girl went into $2.05 and ran 2nd, and Dark Mission in the last got some very good late support, and actually won.

Back to the winner, and good on Chris Parnham in particular for that winning ride.

I’ve tipped Parnzy’s mounts plenty of times on here, more recently when Pikey was in Melbourne, and he’s lifted more often than not, but all of the Group 1 glory between the Parnham boys in their careers had gone to Steven in his 4 Kingston Town Classic wins.

But, Chris finally done it, he’s got that Group 1, and today, he accomplished something considered even more impossible than sending a human being into space.

He got Kementari to win.

Dark Mission in Race 9 at Ascot – WINNER


Jesus, it looked like The Wizard had outsmarted himself when he got a lovely 3 wide cart into the race, then had room to peel out on the turn, but he made a split second decision to save ground closer to the middle, which saw the mare get held up at the 300m in a real heart in mouth moment, before a run the size of the Queen Mary appeared between Wine Night and Cockyjoy, and thankfully Dark Mission still had more than enough momentum to drive out Beat The Pro in a head-bobber.

It would’ve been a travesty if Dark Mission had gone down, but after 3 consecutive placings in the quaddie, it was a classic bit of Pike In The Last to end the Perth Masters.

Crazy Colin’s Wine Drinkin’ Pick Of The Day

Western Empire in the Sir Ernest Lee-Steere Stakes at Ascot – 3rd

It turned out Crazy Colin probably should’ve followed his original train of thought and not support a maiden in a black type race.

Then again, he is Crazy for a reason.

It was a hodgepodge of a race, as a significant south-westerly breeze turned every jockey into a yellow-bellied coward, with none of them wanting to grab the outright lead in running with the risk of copping a blast off the Swan River, so completely throwing everything out the window, Western Empire had to stride forward and lead despite trying to sit off the leaders, which ended up being much to his own detriment, as he had no decent chance to wind up and storm home with Solaia on his outside keeping him honest.

Ultimately, everything worked out very well for Kissonallforcheeks, who got the gun run sitting midfield one off the fence, and ran over Solaia and Western Empire like they were standing still – 2nd ultimately went the way of Solaia in the old Kingston Town silks, as Western Empire, after 5 starts, remains one of the most talented maidens in Australia.

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