Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Just saying this straight off the top, I thought I was half a chance of getting this published before they made a decision on Patrick Cripps at the AFL Appeals Board.

Once again, we see the AFL claim to be so protective of the head region, then their own tribunal can’t properly suspend a player when he leaves the ground and smashes a bloke in the head, causing the victim to miss a week because of concussion.

It’s an achievement to make the Queensland racing stewards look competent by comparison, but the AFL Tribunal have done it.

Moving on from sooking about the footy over to the gallopers, and the major racing story this week is that the former King of Singapore Noel Callow has been slapped with 7 charges related to alleged betting by Racing Victoria, totalling some 24 bets at a cost of $4000 and dating from 2013 to 2019, and it’s a story that will serve as a source of mirth to the punters of the Waterford TAB, who have been on Callow’s case for many years after he couldn’t get a couple of short-priced favourites home during his Melbourne riding stint, routinely shouting out a phrase so vulgar it can only be cut down to an abbreviation…

C-U-C.

The other interesting story this week is that the routinely colourful Frankie Dettori will ride Melbourne Cup winner Verry Elleegant in her European debut, which is set to be the Group 1 Prix Jean Romanet over 2000 metres at Deauville next Sunday.

Based on Frankie’s experiences with anything related to Australian racing, all I can say is commiserations to the owners.

So looking at this weekend, the feature race of the weekend is the Group 2 P.B. Lawrence Stakes at Caulfield, a race once won by Craig Williams after he stuffed farrier’s tools into his boots to make the weight, other noted races at The Heath include the Group 3 Vain and Quezette Stakes, other noted junk includes the Listed Rosebud at Rosehill, the Group 3 Spring Stakes at Morphetville, and it’s also time for the most picturesque racecourse (That’s right, sit down Dunkeld) in the universe to take centre stage, as the Pearling Industry gets set for the running of…

THE BROOME CUP.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and the stark-raving lunatic had what I’d describe as a steady return 1st Up, recording a placing with his Value Pick, while his Pick of the Day probably cost itself the win in the final 200 metres and ran 2nd, which is where I don’t tell you he was $2.10….

It was odd, because I was led to believe Craig had LUCKY LIPS!

Pick of the Day: She’s All Class (No.4, Barrier 2) in Race 3 at Caulfield (MR3), 1:20pm AEST

1100m Mares BM90

Trainers: Ciaron Maher & David Eustace, Jockey: Jye McNeil, 56kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, and early this morning I was counting out my scratchies when I heard a noise outside at 5 in the morning, so I went outside and looked, and you wouldn’t believe it….

THERE WAS A BLOKE IN A HOODIE TRYING TO STEAL FUEL FROM CRAZY COLIN’S CAR!

So instead of chasing him off with a garden rake, I walked up quietly and offered him a scratchie, and after being recognised, the bloke shit himself and ran away!

Obviously he wasn’t as down on his luck as I thought!

Anyway, this weekend sees all the fun at Caulfield, and quite honestly I can’t be stuffed punting at Rosehill this weekend, so my Pick of the Day comes in Race 3, a horse with solid formlines around repeat winner Chain of Lightning, who won once again at Flemington last weekend, beating my Pick of the Day Fire in the process…

SHE’S ALL CLASS…

In fact, you know who was all class?

Judith Durham.

There we go, Jye McNeil get it done for Judith, because SHE’S ALL CLASS is my Pick of the Day.

Wait a minute, it’s a 7-horse field?

What do I care, I’m CRAZY!

Tame Impala Value Pick: Elephant (No.8, Barrier 9) E/W in the P.B. Lawrence Stakes at Caulfield (MR8), 4:35pm AEST

1400m WFA Group 2

Trainers: Emily & David Browne, Jockey: Daniel Moor, 59kg

The New Zealander from New Zealand with a 1st Up record of 3 wins from 4 starts, he’s a past 1400m winner at Caulfield on this very same weekend last year, he’s got a record of 6 wins from 8 starts on Good tracks (Or 4 from 6 depending on what you read), The Heath is a Good 4 at the moment with only a couple of showers forecast…

Just think to yourself, what could go wrong?

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!