Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

So as I enjoy a weekend on the Insular Peninsula, we’re on to the last weekend of August, and last weekend saw Anamoe win the Winx Stakes to kick off Group 1 season, joining the great Octagonal by winning a Group 1 at age 2, 3 and 4, while Verry Elleegant had her European debut at Deauville late on Sunday night, and after several people on racing Twitter channels complained that the pubs weren’t opened (It was midnight you nonces) and tuning in to the Melbourne Cup winner…

She ran last.

Coincidentally, while the incumbent Melbourne Cup winner ran at Deauville, the current Melbourne Cup favourite is called Deauville Legend, which is not a way anyone will describe VE.

Of course, those events were followed by a pretty horrific event on Wednesday morning, as Group 2 winner (And winner of The Gong) Count De Rupee died in a trackwork accident at Kembla Grange, although luckily Tommy Berry escaped injury, and we send our condolences to Robert & Luke Price on losing their beloved Count.

Now this weekend marks the first Group 1 of the Melbourne Spring Carnival, the semi-traditional 1400m WFA Memsie Stakes at Caulfield, now featuring Alligator Gator blood after his ownership ban was lifted with Gerry Harvey buying shares off Allan Endresz to become the majority owner, and other races of minor importance include the Up And Coming and the San Domenico Stakes at Rosehill, a bunch of other Group 3s at The Heath (McNeil, 1100 Stakes, Cockram), the Leon McDonald at Morphetville, the Idyllic Prince Stakes at Belmont, and the time-honoured Cairns Cup.

Of course, where do baked beans go on holiday?

Cairns.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and over the last couple of weeks I haven’t even bothered to put up a review of Crazy Craig’s performances, because quite simply the lunatic’s performances weren’t good enough to warrant a review, as his picks ran last, second-last, 5th and 4th, and that 4th was out of 6 runners.

Quite simply, shithouse.

But, for whatever reason we’ve got to persist with him, because unlike my other mates, he’s got LUCKY LIPS!

Pick of the Day: I’m Thunderstruck (No.1, Barrier 9) E/W in the Memsie Stakes at Caulfield (MR8), 4:45pm AEST

1400m WFA Group 1

Trainer: Mick Price & Mick Kent Jnr, Jockey: Mark Zehra, 59kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and this week out in the sticks I saw a horse that I thought could’ve been named after me…

On Tuesday in Race 7 at Warrnambool, No.10, PRETTY BOY!

It had to be named after me, because it ran like shit!

Anyway knackers, I’m turning my attention to the Group 1 of the day at The Heath, the Memsie Stakes, a race won for the last 2 years by the South Australian Behemoth, but this year he’s nowhere to be seen and the field is one of the most even Group 1 fields you’ll come across, with the favourite Alligator Blood at $5.50, and 7 out of the 14 horses under $10!

Parity knackers, parity!

So after a complete lack of consideration, I’ve decided to go for a horse who I backed last Autumn as a value selection in the All-Star Mile, and he ran pretty well…

The AC/DC horse, I’M THUNDERSTRUCK, NANANANANANANANA!

1st Up Record: 2 wins from 3 starts

Wet Track Record: 2 wins and a 3rd from 3 goes on Soft, 1 win and a 2nd from 3 goes on a Heavy

Caulfield Record: DILLIGAF

1400m Record: DILLIGAF!

And, am I all there? NO!

So there you go, I’M THUNDERSTRUCK, my Pick of the Day.

Random Rod Stewart Pick: Aft Cabin (No.12, Barrier 3) in Race 5 at Caulfield (MR5), 2:50pm AEST

1200m 3YO Set Weights Group 3

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Jamie Kah, 57kg

I call it a Rod Stewart Pick for one simple reason.

If you’ve got an Aft Cabin, what are you doing?

Sailing!

On another note, what’s the most confusing day of the year for Rod Stewart?

Father’s Day.

Random Steve Miller Band Value Pick: Airliner (No.17, Barrier 14) E/W in Race 1 at Rosehill (SR1), 11:35am AEST

1400m Class 2 TAB Highway Handicap

Trainer: Terry Robinson Jockey: Kathy O’Hara, 54kg

I’m prepared to go a bit left field in the first, which is something I rarely do…

That’s bet on the first of the day, not go left field, because that’s where I bloody well live!

Oh, big ol’ jet AIRLINER
Don’t carry me too far away
Oh, big ol’ jet AIRLINER
‘Cause it’s here that I’ve got to stay

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!