My Unspectacular 500th Post

The official milestone portrait

COVID-19, JT-500

If Christ can rise again on Easter Sunday, then I can also bring up a major milestone on a Sunday.

Against all conceivable odds, I have lasted long enough to make this my 500th post, and if you don’t believe me, I have not-photoshopped evidence.

Anyway, I don’t have anything special planned, so I’ll bore you with some numbers from the past 499 posts.

Total Views & Visitors (This includes clicks on Home, Archives, Contact etc)

This is as of posting this article:

If you base things on those numbers, a visitor looks at an average of 1.36 posts, and the average post has exactly 50 views, although I’m guessing it is

I suspect the Meaningless AFL Reviews and Chalk Eaters Guides posts are massively propping that figure up.

The First Post

The first post appears to be all the way back on February 10th, where I apparently wrote a bunch of coarse reviews about the stragglers of the Big Bash season.

I’m still feeling shitty about being told to cut down on my use of the word shit.

The 100th Post

It was my Tuesday Tithbits for the 30th of April, in which the main point seemed to be that time where we thought James Faulkner came out as gay, given he mentioned he had dinner with his boyfriend… only to find out he was trying to celebrate 5 years working with his business partner.

That was also the first day of the 2019 Warrnambool Carnival… It’ll be the last one until 2021 if the Council have their way.

Top 5 Most Viewed Posts

1. 760 viewsThe Meaningless AFL Review: Round 22, 2019

This Bradman-esque number was the result of ending up on some kind of a Google News list, because there was a huge number of referrals from the search engine, including Google News.

I haven’t had a referral from Google News since.

I’ve never known why it happened, but it seems hundreds of people were drawn to me highlighting BT making random Hawk noises because the Melbourne-Sydney game was so boring.

2. 482 viewsThe Meaningless AFL Review: The 2019 Grand Final

Quite naturally, a Review of the Grand Final got plenty of views, because apparently internet traffic increases on grand Final Day.

3. 305 viewsThe Meaningless AFL Review: Round 21, 2019

This was the weekend where it snowed during the Giants-Hawks game in Canberra, then on Saturday night, North Melbourne kicked 1 goal in Geelong, the Bulldogs kicked 21 goals in a row against Essendon (The only 100 point win by any team in 2019), and the Wallabies (Thanks to an All-Blacks red card) outscored both the Roos and Bombers.

That really was a spuddy round of football.

4. 243 viewsThe Chalk Eaters Guide: 11th April

Somehow, yesterday’s Guide is now my highest-rated Saturday racing guide of all-time, beating out the Guide from March 28th – It all comes down to Facebook’s weird advertising algorithms.

The odd coincidence is that both my Perth tips on those Saturdays were ridden by a certain William Pike… That might be saying something.

5. 237 views – The AFL Review: Round 6, 2019

The aftermath of the ANZAC Day Round, and it was the end of the stretch where it was the Easter weekend followed by the ANZAC Day weekend, resulting in a period where the only day between Easter Thursday and the 28th of April we didn’t have a game of footy was on Easter Tuesday.

My Personal Favourite Post

I would nominate the The 2019 Political Premiership as my finest piece of work, purely because I actually thought of something original and managed to get it relatively right.

From memory, I first conjured up this idea of political footy teams about 6 weeks prior to the election, then put it on ice for about 5 weeks because I couldn’t be bothered writing

I also found it hilarious because Bob Hawke died right as I put him on the bench for Labor, and I wrote it fully expecting the Coalition to get voted out.

Of course, this ended up happening.

A possible future idea

I’m thinking of trying that ‘footy team’ format for a post again, this time compiling State Of Origin teams full of state icons.

This what I’m thinking:

WA’s team would be filled with the likes of Kevin Bloody Wilson, the Leyland Brothers, Ernie Dingo, Red Dog, Bon Scott, Walter Lindrum, Tim Minchin, Dennis Lillee and Fat Cat.

Queensland could have Sir Joh, Clive Palmer, Mick Doohan, Rod Laver, Gunsynd, Steve Irwin and the Gibb brothers.

South Australia could have Paul Kelly, Bruce McAvaney, David Hicks, Jimmy Barnes, Sia, the Chappell brothers, Lleyton Hewitt and Jason Gillespie.

Victoria could have Ned Kelly, the Morans, Franco Cozzo, Eddie McGuire, Bill Lawry, Barry Humphries, the Hemsworth brothers and Kylie Mingoue.

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